LOS ANGELES – Sen. Arlen Specter has decided to switch parties and will become a Democrat. No news on if he will get the Phil Spector pre-trial hair style.
Archive for April, 2009
Spector-Specter
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
The Which is Which? Game
Monday, April 27th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – This post is a late night comedy show segment pitch, seen here for the first time exclusively on B.L.O.G. It is for a segment called The Which is Which? Game, and could serve as a guest introduction for a comedy figure especially, or a celebrity with a good sense of humor at least. The idea is to take a funny fact, even one that is slightly embarrassing (and perhaps has been in the public consciousness recently), create an outrageous juxtaposition with that fact as the grain of truth, then work backwards to find other related juxtapositions. Wow, it sounds complicated. No, that’s just my bamboozling writing style. Look at the pictures.
Background for this example: Artie Lange, of the Howard Stern show on Sirius/XM, has ballooned to 300 lbs. and has had a couple of weigh-ins as part of that show. He is based in New York and has been a frequent guest on both Letterman’s Late Show and Conan’s Late Night shows. He will be making appearances soon to promote the paperback version of his best selling book. The following is a sample bit of dialogue between a fictional HOST and CO-HOST to show how these graphics might play in a game/introduction. If you don’t want to read through the entire script, you should be able to follow along just from the pictures.
HOST: We have a new game tonight! A little something we like to call The Which is Which? Game. Roll it, [DIRECTOR].
GFX: ANIMATION PLAYS. ‘THE WHICH IS WHICH? GAME’ ANIMATES ON TO LIVE MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT. BASE ANIMATION HAS ELABORATE PRODUCTION VALUE, CHYRON WIPES ON TO REVEAL THE SPECIFIC: ‘300 vs. 500‘ (SIMPLY RENDERED).
HOST: 300 vs. 500 edition. [SLOWLY]: 300… 500, [CO-HOST]. Which is which.
CO-HOST: 300 vs. 500. Which is which. Got it.
HOST: Thank you, [MUSICIANS]. In this game, we are given a set of facts and are shown two objects. We then have to decide which facts belong to which objects. Which is which. Sounds simple, eh? Boy, this could go either way. Don’t you think, [CO-HOST]? Alright, let’s give it a shot. Show us the first slide, [DIRECTOR].
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
Ooo, it’s a shot of space. [TEXT TYPES ON TO MATCH HOST'S READ] Here are two distant galaxies. One is 300 million light years away, the other is 500 million light years away. See? 300 vs. 500. Which is which? Hmm. I have no idea. What do you think, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: I don’t have a clue either.
HOST: Let’s see the answer.
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
GFX: QUESTION TEXT WIPES OFF – LEFT GALAXY IS WIPED OFF AS RIGHT GALAXY SHRINKS DOWN IN SIZE (MOVES FARTHER AWAY FROM CAMERA – SFX: SLIDE WHISTLE). JUST AS RIGHT GALAXY SETTLES, WE SEE LEFT GALAXY RE-ENTER THE PICTURE, OBVIOUSLY CLOSER TO US THAN RIGHT GALAXY. ANSWER TEXT ANIMATES (TYPES) ON. THIS ALL HAPPENS QUICKLY.
HOST: Ah, Stephan’s Quintet is 300 million light years away. Of course, Baby Boom is 500 million light years away. Interesting, [CO-HOST]. I don’t know how funny it is, but it is interesting.
CO-HOST: I had no idea. They’re both really far away. I can’t even imagine it.
HOST: Okay, I get it now. I’m ready for the next slide, [DIRECTOR].
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
Ah, a couple of cars, [CO-HOST]. [AS BEFORE, TEXT TYPES ON TO MATCH THE READ] These are two car models from the proposed Fiat/Chrysler alliance. You know they’re in the news now, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: Seems I’ve heard something about it recently, yes. Very topical.
HOST: [CHUCKLES AT THE INANITY OF IT ALL]. One is designated the 300, the other is the 500. Which is which? Hmm. I know a little about cars. I’m gonna say the big one is the 500 and the little one is the 300. Doesn’t that make sense, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: That’s the obvious choice, [HOST]. But it could be a trick.
HOST: [LAUGHS] Yes, [CO-HOST], a trick! No, I’m sticking with my answer. [DIRECTOR], show the good people that I am in the right here!
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
GFX: CUTOUT CARS SPIN AROUND EACH OTHER (IN AN OBVIOUSLY FAKE AND CHEESY WAY – SFX: PARTY FAVOR RATCHETING NOISEMAKER) SEVERAL TIMES AND END UP EQUIDISTANT FROM THE CAMERA. ANSWER TEXT ANIMATES (TYPES) ON, (AS BEFORE) VERY QUICKLY.
HOST: Boy was I wrong! You were right, [CO-HOST]! We were tricked. The big Chrysler is actually the 300, and the diminutive Fiat is the 500! It’s apparently also called La Cinquecento. How are we supposed to know that? Is that a bonus, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: [CHUCKLES] I don’t know. I just don’t know how we’re supposed to know that. Diminutive, yes. Doesn’t make any sense.
HOST: Alright. Time for the next slide. Remember, they appear to be getting trickier, so if you’re playing at home, keep that in mind!
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
[SURPRISED CHUCKLE]. Wow, isn’t that a cute scene. Very pleasant. And isn’t that Artie Lange?
CO-HOST: Yes, that appears to be Artie Lange reclining against a polar bear. They both seem to be very comfortable.
HOST: [LAUGHS] [TEXT TYPES ON TO MATCH THE READ] These are two slumbering giants. I don’t think I want to see what happens in the next frame. Things could get ugly. One weighs 300 lbs., the other over 500. Over 500, [CO-HOST]!
CO-HOST: Well, they’re slumbering giants. What would you expect?
HOST: Which is which? They’re both – they’re both… BIG!
CO-HOST: We have been fooled before! How do we figure this one out? And look: Artie is holding a copy of his book.
HOST: Yes he is! Let’s settle this once and for all.
[CUT TO SHOT OF HOST AT DESK]
HOST: Ladies and gentlemen: his book debuted in the number one position on the New York Times Best Seller list and will be out in paperback this Tuesday, June 2.
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
Please welcome… Artie Lange!
GFX: GRAPHIC FROM OPEN AGAIN, THIS TIME AS TALENT REVEAL TRANSITION. TITLE TYPE MOVES UP, CURTAINS PART AND MOVE OUT TO REVEAL LIVE SHOT OF ARTIE LANGE WALKING OUT TO HIS THEME SONG. HE IS WALKING ALONGSIDE A MAN IN A POLAR BEAR COSTUME. THE BEAR SHOWS HIM TO HIS SEAT, THEN LEAVES.
HOST: ARTIE LANGE, everybody!
From Italy, With Love
Friday, April 24th, 2009
SOMEWHERE OVER THE ATLANTIC – We move today from our Great Pacific Garbage Patch Special Earth Day report to the Atlantic where we just got this Macchina Fotografica di Carico (I think that means Cargo Cam) shot from a very special Alitalia charter flight. The Capo Custom, Michael Brown-designed I. Martin Bicycle Kits are en route from Italy and are set to arrive here in Los Angeles very soon. You can see that they’re the gen-u-wine article from It’ly because it says fra-gee-lay on the crate.
For some reason, an entire Italian Deli has hitched a ride aboard the charter and of course we have to drop them off in the Big Apple before proceeding to LA. 
Welcome to B.L.O.G. for those of you who’ve been following the design process. If you want to keep tabs on this kit’s availability, you can always check back here at B.L.O.G., or follow I. Martin’s blog or, even better, follow @imartinbicycles on Twitter.
The kit design was heavily influenced by the Belgian National Champion’s jersey, especially the beautiful Quick Step kit as worn by Stijn Devolder last year. I liked the way the kit stood out among all of the other kits in the peloton. For the I. Martin kit, I started with the chainring logo as a medallion, added a couple of lions (again an homage to the Flemish – the lions have nothing whatsoever to do with LA), created a new Helen’s Cycles retro logo, put a Euro filter on the store’s name, and added my own FX icon to it (no words or URL, it just works almost as a beer bottle cap). Hope you like it.
Live from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC – As promised in yesterday’s teaser promo, I have in fact sent my Man from B.L.O.G. Avatar/Cybernaut to – drum roll, please – The Great Pacific Garbage Patch! Yes, that’s right. In honor of Earth Day, today, April 22, I have sent our man to the largest single collection of garbage on earth. It would be known as the world’s largest landfill, but of course it is at sea. And seafill does not yet exist as a word. It is roughly the size of and (one could conclude from the graphic above) the same shape as the state of Texas – maybe even twice the size!
And speaking of Texas, if we could get a shot of them, there are a number of George W. Bush-related artifacts in the flotsam and jetsam. Can we get the shot? Breaking… we have a picture being transmitted right now… wait, it’s not GWB, but Sarah Palin (sorry about the bit of picture break-up):
There appears to be an entire section of Sarah Palin life-size photo standees that apparently found their way to the GPGP from cancelled November Republican victory parties across the nation. Wow, they got here quickly. They apparently travelled in a super-efficient school, like a group of fish, or more like a bicycle team time trial paceline. And just beyond I can see there are some McCain and a few George W. Bush stragglers too. Some of them appear to be pairing off just like socks in an over-loaded washing machine.
I can see from the live video feed that we are moving on now. Wish I could show this to you as part of my presentation today, but my IT department have each taken one of their green days in order to collect money from people to fund their bike vacation – I mean of course, their charity bike ride!
Wait a minute. What are those objects bobbing in the distance? Looks like… could they be? Yes, folks, you are not going to believe this. Transmitting…
That’s right! It’s an area full of dead blogs! I was wondering where those went. Poor things. There’s one that lasted only one week! And the first post looked so hopeful. Man, I hope the same fate doesn’t befall this very B.L.O.G. Of course, if you’re reading this in 2010 and it appears to be my latest entry, well then I guess the hand of fate has reached down (or up) and squashed me like a bug on a windshield.
I see the trash-breaking ship ahead of our primary research vessel is clearing a new path now.
I can just make out a Today Show banner on a boat across the expanse of milk jugs and bleach bottles. There’s a bald man doing a stand-up on the bow of the boat. Too bald to be Matt Lauer. Now someone is saying on the comm that it’s not Lauer. For a minute I thought Matt was here doing one of his “where in the world” shows, muscling in on our turf, er, I mean surf. We’re picking up some cross-chatter from their wireless mics now… it’s CNBC personality Jim Kramer doing a cross-network branded remote piece… he was told the head of Bernie Madoff had been spotted at this location… turns out it was an old Circuit City Dollar Days banner with just the George Washington part showing. Kramer is now throwing one of his tantrums.
Someone is yelling frantically now… “They’re coming! They’re coming! Look!” All eyes are looking toward the southwest. Our camera is panning around. Somali pirates! How could… You’d better get out of there! What? False alarm! They’re just another school of Sarah Palin standees arriving.
END TRANSMISSION
Drive a Datsun, Plant a Tree
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
LOS ANGELES – In the 70s, my dad worked for Nissan Motor Corporation in the U.S.A., also known at the time in the US and certain other parts of the world as Datsun. Dad used to bring home tons of advertising materials from the main office which he would then distribute to his group of dealers. Of course, some of the more interesting items “fell off the truck” and right into my bedroom. I would say more but the Datsun Keisatsukan may still be on active duty. Racing posters and jackets, model cars, and assorted other promotional items moved like shiny objects into my crow’s nest.
I stumbled across the bumper sticker (otherwise unretouched) in the illustration above while going through some boxes recently. In honor of Earth Day, which is tomorrow, I thought I would use the magic of Google to refresh my memory and fill in some parts of the story behind the I planted a tree bumper sticker and its parent Drive a Datsun, Plant a Tree campaign. It is from either 1973 or ‘74.
The I planted a tree bumper sticker, it turns out, was merely a collateral piece meant to reinforce a somewhat groundbreaking television ad starring famed photographer Ansel Adams
I found these tidbits through Google Book Search. Excerpts from Ansel Adams, by Mary Street Alinder (if you are an Ansel Adams fan, I heartily recommend that you consider buying and reading this book in its entirety):
“…Datsun (now Nissan) automobile company signed Ansel to star in a television commercial; as an enticement to consumers, Datsun promised to plant one tree for every test drive taken. This was the first real evidence of a cult of personality surrounding Ansel…”
“Chatting on the nation’s television screens about the need to reseed our imperiled national forests with trees, even if in a car advertisement, did not strike Ansel as something to be ashamed of. He believed that his participation in the commercial did as much for the U.S. Forest Service as it did for Datsun. Ansel was told that 160,000 seedlings were planted thanks to this ad campaign.”
Ms. Alinder goes on to say how Ansel was “hurt and puzzled by the chorus of criticism”. Perhaps chief among the critics was another photographer of note, Imogen Cunningham, who “felt it was just one more instance of Ansel’s selling out.”
Ansel was apparently so stung by the criticism that “he swore he would never again permit himself or his work to be used to promote a commercial product.”
I vaguely remember how big a deal it was to have Ansel Adams in a commercial for Datsun, but I had no idea until now how controversial it was. After all, I was 11 or 12 years old. I do recall that in addition to having a tree planted, test drivers themselves were offered seedlings in addition to the bumper stickers to take home. I know this because the seedlings (I think they were Douglas Fir) were delivered by the pallet load to our house and dad saw that each of his dealers got their share. We planted one in our side yard in Virginia but I think it probably fell victim to my agro lawn mowing techniques.
I just went on a nostalgia trip into Google maps, but there is no Google Street View of my old neighborhood. 
The satellite shot looks like it was taken on the coldest and most bleak (but clear) day ever. It was late morning, the lawns are all brown and there are no leaves on the trees. It’s not even worth showing here, let alone diverting The Man from B.L.O.G. to the location. He was, however, able to drop by the shoot for this post. Here’s an outtake. He’s obviously smitten with the young model from 1973. They make a cute couple, eh?
[Speaking of the bespectacled one, my Man From B.L.O.G. avatar-cybernaut is nearly in position to do a live blog from a surprise location, tomorrow, Earth Day. I can't give out any details now, but I can tell you that we are having technical issues and some time zone confusion with him – he's always on Zurich time.]
Illustration credits: the attempted Ansel Adams-style treatment in the illustration is on one of my own photos, taken at the Mt. Whitney portal in the Sierra Nevada range, California. The bumper sticker is a scan of my own. The classic woman with her (not US market) Datsun is from http://www.motoweb.pl/tapety/pictures/, where you can find other great Datsun wallpapers. The Man from B.L.O.G. is from my first post.
The Slow Bike Movement
Monday, April 20th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – There is a backlash movement afoot (by a group of well-meaning people who ride bikes) which states, in effect, that one should not concern his or herself with acquiring the latest technical riding gear, or even a serious road bicycle in order to experience the basic joy of riding a bike for transport. A great notion in itself. Their “come as you are” mindset is right on, at least to a point. The backlash is against the “Lance Armstrong-types”, their language meant not to heap praise on road riders but instead to castigate them for their delusional pretensions.
But the lengths to which the more rabid factions of this concern, or as it’s come to be known, The Slow Bike Movement, are willing to go are downright draconian. There are some in the movement who frown on lycra (or any technical fabric), clipless pedals and specialty shoes, and in some cases, even helmets. These edicts could potentially have adverse affects in certain cases. I have ridden helmet-less in Amsterdam, and felt perfectly safe doing so. The US biking situation is not there yet. The Slow B.M. (yes, the cow in the illustration is having one), at its best, will get more people on bikes. At its worst, it risks rolling back any and all advances made in bicycle commuting in the past 30 years
Since this is my first post about cycling, indulge me for a moment or two as I give my basic bicycle modus operandi.
I live car-free in Los Angeles. That’s like living bike-free in Amsterdam. I’ve lived similarly in New York City and Washington, DC. After a few false starts, my bicycle commuting began in earnest about 25 years ago. I rode comfortably and naively in the 80s without a helmet, traveling long distances wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt, and (much as I hate to admit it) sometimes at night without a light. Today, I am the product of many years of lessons hard-earned, lessons I hope to pass on today and in future posts. I ride for the love of riding; the green and healthful aspects are a bonus. I am at once a “Lance Armstrong-type” and an everyday cyclist.
Like many bicycle enthusiasts (at least the hoarders among us), I have a small fleet of bicycles (including what may be described by some as slow bikes). My reason for choosing one over another for a particular outing is usually broken down into two major categories: over five miles and under five miles. This same five mile rule usually governs my choice of clothing.
Under five miles means I can ride flat pedals (no clips) and street clothing (but always a helmet). I lock up my bike at Trader Joe’s or the 99 Cents Only Store and shop while giving only the slightest hint to those inside that I am there on my bike. A sub-category within this under five miles group is what I and others have been calling a movie bike – a beater so homely that it can be left locked with little worry outside a movie theater for two or more hours.
The over five miles category is where The Slow Bike Movement and I part ways. When commuting to a job or other important meeting that is over five miles, it is important not to arrive with a large sweat patch on your back and underarms, a sweaty and/or irritated crotch, or tardy.
Tardy? Yes. In an urban situation (at least here in the US), it is often advantageous to ride as fast as possible. By keeping up your pace, you lower the speed differential between you and other traffic. You are in car drivers’ fields of view for a longer amount of time, because you are traveling at or near their speed. As a result, they have more time to decide how to react to you. They can see that your actions are predictable (you are riding predictably, aren’t you?). Also, I can report that people are less likely to mess with you if you are fast. In an urban situation especially, one in which you are meeting up with the same cars at stoplights along the way (yes, I stop at all but the most lonesome, isolated ones or if I feel vulnerable at night especially), most car drivers will show more respect if they know you can retaliate at the next light. I have purely anecdotal evidence from friends who are also longtime commuters which backs me up on this.
Over five miles usually means a geared road bike, clipless pedals and shoes, and proper cycling wear (sweat-wicking technical fabric jersey, seam-free and padded shorts). Also, there is an advantage to wearing a flashy jersey instead of, say, urban camo. Why would you want to blend in? You need to be seen. How flashy to go is a matter of personal choice, and there’s plenty of room for individuality, even subtlety. Just don’t disappear.
The technical jersey means that as I sweat on my ride, it is wicked to the surface of the jersey (and away from my skin), where it evaporates rapidly. Clipless pedals allow for the occasional bunny-hop over a pothole. Padded cycling shorts help keep my nether regions all comfy and chafe-free. In addition to the safety benefits, a fast bike can cut my personal commute by 1/3.
I change into street clothes once at my destination, put them up to dry somewhere, then make the quick change again in the evening for the ride home. Admittedly, this takes a little planning. Plus, you have to haul a pack of clothing along with you. And what about a shower?
If you have a regular gig at a permanent location, you could drop off a week’s worth of clothing at your office, as a part of your car driving routine on the weekend. I know at least two people who regularly do this. While I don’t regard it as cheating, it does run counter to a car-free aesthetic. And then there are the shower facilities (or lack thereof).
When I’m freelancing at a location far away, I shower and shave at home before donning my clean cycling clothes. That’s if there are no shower facilities at my destination, which is usually the case. A generous swabbing of rubbing alcohol under my arms is a good odor-neutralizer and a fairly benign substitute for commercial deodorant or anti-perspirant (thanks, O.D.), many of which contain aluminum. I put on clean clothes once at my destination and I am bicycle commuter incognito.
Slow biking is the baseline of cycling activity. If you have a long errand or commute, it might take a little more involvement and commitment. It is not an insurmountable obstacle, though, and is entirely worthwhile. Not currently commuting by bike and wish to get started? Of course, start off in the slow bike mindset. You may want or need to upgrade at some point. While I don’t consider this post a “backlash against a backlash”, it is a warning. That there is a Slow Bike Movement at all is disappointing. Does the world really need it? I am reminded of a satirical line of fake ad copy from an episode of the great Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist cartoon: “Air. Breathe It In.” Some things just don’t need advertising. “Bikes. Get on and ride.”
Sincerely, Ted L. Nancy Main Title
Thursday, April 16th, 2009Loading…
LOS ANGELES – This is a main title I did about two or three months ago for a TV show pitch (the music is a scratch track). Sincerely, Ted L. Nancy is based on the Letters from a Nut series of books. The author writes letters to various companies as the Ted L. Nancy character. He asks, for example, of a motel operator, if he may bring his own ice machine with him into his room. Their replies and his subsequent follow-up letters are hilarious. I haven’t heard if the TV show has been picked up yet. I’ll keep you posted.
Below is from the back cover of the second book, Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut!
Ms. Barbara Ramey
RALPHS SUPERMARKETS
PO Box 54143
Los Angeles, CA 90054Dear MS. Ramey:
Thank you very much for answering my letter concerning the haunted sponge I bought from a Ralphs store. Ralphs has been and always will be the only store I shop in for my food and sponge needs.
In your letter to me you said that I would be hearing from the supplier of this sponge. I have not heard from them. And this sponge is bad.
Can someone from Ralphs come and get this sponge from me? This sponge is out to get me. I am afraid.
After I got your letter I went down to my basement and locked that sponge in a steel box and put a chain around that box. Then I wrapped that box in tape and put a shackle around that. Then I boarded up the basement door with over 1000 nails. Then I put a manacle on that door. Then I went upstairs to my room to get a good nights sleep.
At about 3 o’clock in the morning I woke up and looked down. That sponge was right by my bed. I am scared. Please help me.
Also, do you sell Brillo at your store?
When will I hear from the supplier? I need to know. Thank you for your reply.
Sincerely,
Ted L. Nancy
Hyuntley T-shirt Idea
Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the Hyuntley t-shirt prototype for your approval. HYUNTLEY corporate logo (unofficial as far as I know), with “Korean Elegance Meets British Reliability” tagline. Distressed look, with my own FrankXray – FX branding icon, placed inconspicuously on the shirt somewhere, hopefully at the bottom. Should I go forward with it? Let me know what you think. For the background story, see my earlier post.
May I Present: The Hyuntley?
Monday, April 13th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – Nearly four years ago, I came across a most unusual car while walking to work. I spotted the Bentley Continental GT from a block away. Even in car-obsessed LA it was hard not to. The model was brand new to the US at the time, and for some reason this particular model was on my radar. As I got closer, though, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Was that a Hyundai logo on the rear deck? What the? And look at the license plate frame! HYUNDAI OF BEL AIR – SUNSET BL @ STONE CANYON RD. I looked around for the cameras which I was sure were watching me. Come on out, Ashton. Keep in mind that the current list price for the Conti’ GT is $179,200. Probably a little less back then, but not much. That’s like ten Detroit houses. And it had HYUNDAI insignia! Further inspection revealed the H for Hyundai logos on the wheel centers. Wow, this jokester had gone all out. Up front, there was another H logo atop the grill, and another license plate frame. A BENTDAI? HYUNTLEY?
Unfortunately, I didn’t have a camera with me. I knew that my friend and co-worker, Darin (who was a car designer before turning to television graphics), would be very interested in this car. I rushed up to my office, found Darin, and said, “You have to follow me. Now.” He knew something peculiar was up (from the giggly schoolgirl tone of my voice) and followed me obediently. “You are not going to believe this.” When we got back downstairs, the car was gone. It had been parked in front of the S.A.G. building, in the Miracle Mile district.
I did a Google search at the time, but found nothing. Then, just the other day, something came up that reminded me of this car. I tried Google again, and viola! There it was! Sightings all over town, from Redondo to Hollywood. The automotive technorati are all twittery. The story came to a head in the summer of 2007, but I thought that with the recent economic situation, talks of synergistic partnerships, etc., it might be a good time to revisit it. 
Hyundai partners with Bentley. Hmm. I even sent my Man From B.L.O.G. avatar, as my cybernaut, into Google maps to see what I could see. As you can see from this Google maps (street view) screenshot, no such dealership exists at the corner of Sunset and Stone Canyon Rd. It’s strictly mansion-ville, man. Oh well. Maybe I’ll grab a cyber taco from the Roach Coach for my trip back to reality. Damn you, jokester! I’ll find you yet.
The Man from B.L.O.G.
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – Welcome to my very own blog, or, as I prefer to think of it, my Boring Load Of Garbage. My name is Michael Brown and that pretty much sums up the way I feel about blogs. Or at least the bad ones. I think I’d rather sit and listen to a stranger (or close friend for that matter) tell me about the dream they had last night than to read some of the blogs out there. And there are lots of bad blogs out there, in case you haven’t noticed. Of course, there are good ones, too. I will try to make this one of them.
Why would I write a blog if I find so many of them boring? Well, a few things, actually
1) Blogging is no longer the most self-absorbed, narcissistic activity on the interwebs. Twitter is, for what it’s worth. I have a few good posts in me (that’s what she said). Wait – that didn’t come out quite the way I meant it. What I mean is, I think we all have something to say about something.
2) I want to be a better writer. I am a graphic designer, creative director, illustrator, motion graphics animator, and can ride two bikes at once. “Writer” is not on my list of marketable talents. By doing this regularly, I hope to improve, to add “writer” to my list. I will become a better writer through sheer volume and repetition. If my audience grows along with me, so much the better. If it turns into a job at a late night TV show as a writer/artist, well, you’ll see it here first. I’ll have more to say on this in later posts.
3) Each post will contain a graphic or movie. And, I’ll admit it here, will serve to promote my business. I get to write things that accompany my graphic design, illustration, and the occasional animation. Some will be recycled storyboard frames or my animations that I will try to shoehorn into a piece which I am trying to pass off as relevant. But at least the writing will be fresh, and even the graphics will be new to you. I’ll show projects I’m working on, at least the good ones. The theme of this blog will be what I know. Graphic Design, Illustration, Motion Graphics, Bikes, TV, Politics, Bike Politics, TV Graphics, Cars, Bike Culture, Car Design. I could go on and on, mixing the words around like a jumble, creating new categories. But you get the idea of what I know. The theme will work itself out as I go.
This blog is based on the WordPress protocol. You load it onto your server, and can choose between many different themes, or looks (formats). I auditioned several options, but finally decided to (bravely and stupidly) custom modify the Default theme into this vision in pink. It matches my business site, at least for now, and I rather like it. Not in an ironic, “Oh look at the straight guy trying to show people he’s really not gay (by using reverse psychology?)” way. I will be fine tuning the settings over time, adding little widgets on the sidebar that I find interesting, but it should be more or less what you see here for some time. That way I can concentrate on the content.
Speaking of content, I will have new stuff on Mondays. At least one entry per week. At first. If I lower your expectations, you won’t be disappointed. If you see another post sometime mid-week, it’s just icing on the cake! Don’t feel left out, though. Subscribe via the RSS feed at the bottom of any page, and you will have a direct, intravenous drip of information fed directly into your brain. Or something like that. I’m sure you’ll let me know what you think. If you’re reading at all. Hello?
