Archive for the ‘Environment’ Category

Sinkhole de Mayo

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

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paragraph-spacer3DAISETTA, TEXAS – Well, first things first. No, your newly installed digital television converter box is not interfering with the color balance on your computer monitor. Yes, that is a French flag on le frite grande, or large fry. And it is sticking in a large puddle of mayonnaise, which has been unceremoniously poured from a large 5500-gallon drum provided by some French sympathizers keen on raining on the Mexican national holiday parade honoring their defeat of them. Try saying that fast while your mouth is loaded with fries, vinegar, ketchup, and mayonnaise. We here at B.L.O.G. are not ones to play favorites with the nationalities. I just needed a moment to chew, hence the answers to your imaginary questions, which allowed me to chew while I imagined you asking them. Okay… all done. Moving on.

Cinco de Mayo, of course, celebrates the “Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín“. I got that little tidbit from Wikipedia, and you know they’re never wrong. What I didn’t know is that a sinkhole in this small, sleepy little town had first appeared on or near an anniversary of that very same date! Some town residents (population 1,034) began calling it the “Sinkhole de Mayo”, both delighting punsters and seizing a tourism marketing opportunity. The New York Times even did a story about it.

“A huge and ravenous sinkhole that threatened to swallow this little East Texas oil town gobbled more crumbling earth Thursday but spared, at least for now, homes, the high school and the main road …”

Run for your lives! I think I see eyes appearing above the mouth. It’s … ALIVE! The town Emergency Management head, speaking about the town’s oil history, said, “I’m used to things blowing up, not falling in.”

Which brings us back to today’s little prank. Some local Francophiles appear to have taken advantage of the large hole [ARTIST'S RENDERING ABOVE IS NOT TO SCALE. ACTUAL HOLE IS MUCH LARGER. DO NOT APPROACH EDGE OF HOLE. – Ed.] and have filled it with mayo (I can see there’s still a ‘tongue’ of mayo left in the vat), cooked up what must be the world’s largest French fry, perhaps in the world’s largest deep fryer (maybe located in another sinkhole?), inserted that fry into nature’s party dip tray (not a euphemism for something dirty), then climbed that fry, and finally planted a flag. French, of course.

Maybe the thing to do is: have a party! Turn lemons into lemonade! Gather around the sinkhole, hold hands, and sing Fah Hoo Forres. Perhaps the French Grinch will grow a heart and join in. Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody!

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Live from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

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SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC – As promised in yesterday’s teaser promo, I have in fact sent my Man from B.L.O.G. Avatar/Cybernaut to – drum roll, please – The Great Pacific Garbage Patch! Yes, that’s right. In honor of Earth Day, today, April 22, I have sent our man to the largest single collection of garbage on earth. It would be known as the world’s largest landfill, but of course it is at sea. And seafill does not yet exist as a word. It is roughly the size of and (one could conclude from the graphic above) the same shape as the state of Texasmaybe even twice the size!

And speaking of Texas, if we could get a shot of them, there are a number of George W. Bush-related artifacts in the flotsam and jetsam. Can we get the shot? Breaking… we have a picture being transmitted right now… wait, it’s not GWB, but Sarah Palin (sorry about the bit of picture break-up):

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There appears to be an entire section of Sarah Palin life-size photo standees that apparently found their way to the GPGP from cancelled November Republican victory parties across the nation. Wow, they got here quickly. They apparently travelled in a super-efficient school, like a group of fish, or more like a bicycle team time trial paceline. And just beyond I can see there are some McCain and a few George W. Bush stragglers too. Some of them appear to be pairing off just like socks in an over-loaded washing machine.

I can see from the live video feed that we are moving on now. Wish I could show this to you as part of my presentation today, but my IT department have each taken one of their green days in order to collect money from people to fund their bike vacation – I mean of course, their charity bike ride!

Wait a minute. What are those objects bobbing in the distance? Looks like… could they be? Yes, folks, you are not going to believe this. Transmitting…

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That’s right! It’s an area full of dead blogs! I was wondering where those went. Poor things. There’s one that lasted only one week! And the first post looked so hopeful. Man, I hope the same fate doesn’t befall this very B.L.O.G. Of course, if you’re reading this in 2010 and it appears to be my latest entry, well then I guess the hand of fate has reached down (or up) and squashed me like a bug on a windshield.

I see the trash-breaking ship ahead of our primary research vessel is clearing a new path now.

I can just make out a Today Show banner on a boat across the expanse of milk jugs and bleach bottles. There’s a bald man doing a stand-up on the bow of the boat. Too bald to be Matt Lauer. Now someone is saying on the comm that it’s not Lauer. For a minute I thought Matt was here doing one of his “where in the world” shows, muscling in on our turf, er, I mean surf. We’re picking up some cross-chatter from their wireless mics now… it’s CNBC personality Jim Kramer doing a cross-network branded remote piece… he was told the head of Bernie Madoff had been spotted at this location… turns out it was an old Circuit City Dollar Days banner with just the George Washington part showing. Kramer is now throwing one of his tantrums.

Someone is yelling frantically now… “They’re coming! They’re coming! Look!” All eyes are looking toward the southwest. Our camera is panning around. Somali pirates! How could… You’d better get out of there! What? False alarm! They’re just another school of Sarah Palin standees arriving.

END TRANSMISSION
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Drive a Datsun, Plant a Tree

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

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paragraph-spacer3LOS ANGELES – In the 70s, my dad worked for Nissan Motor Corporation in the U.S.A., also known at the time in the US and certain other parts of the world as Datsun. Dad used to bring home tons of advertising materials from the main office which he would then distribute to his group of dealers. Of course, some of the more interesting items “fell off the truck” and right into my bedroom. I would say more but the Datsun Keisatsukan may still be on active duty. Racing posters and jackets, model cars, and assorted other promotional items moved like shiny objects into my crow’s nest.

I stumbled across the bumper sticker (otherwise unretouched) in the illustration above while going through some boxes recently. In honor of Earth Day, which is tomorrow, I thought I would use the magic of Google to refresh my memory and fill in some parts of the story behind the I planted a tree bumper sticker and its parent Drive a Datsun, Plant a Tree campaign. It is from either 1973 or ‘74.

The I planted a tree bumper sticker, it turns out, was merely a collateral piece meant to reinforce a somewhat groundbreaking television ad starring famed photographer Ansel Adams

I found these tidbits through Google Book Search. Excerpts from Ansel Adams, by Mary Street Alinder (if you are an Ansel Adams fan, I heartily recommend that you consider buying and reading this book in its entirety):

“…Datsun (now Nissan) automobile company signed Ansel to star in a television commercial; as an enticement to consumers, Datsun promised to plant one tree for every test drive taken. This was the first real evidence of a cult of personality surrounding Ansel…”

“Chatting on the nation’s television screens about the need to reseed our imperiled national forests with trees, even if in a car advertisement, did not strike Ansel as something to be ashamed of. He believed that his participation in the commercial did as much for the U.S. Forest Service as it did for Datsun. Ansel was told that 160,000 seedlings were planted thanks to this ad campaign.”

Ms. Alinder goes on to say how Ansel was “hurt and puzzled by the chorus of criticism”. Perhaps chief among the critics was another photographer of note, Imogen Cunningham, who “felt it was just one more instance of Ansel’s selling out.”

Ansel was apparently so stung by the criticism that “he swore he would never again permit himself or his work to be used to promote a commercial product.”

I vaguely remember how big a deal it was to have Ansel Adams in a commercial for Datsun, but I had no idea until now how controversial it was. After all, I was 11 or 12 years old. I do recall that in addition to having a tree planted, test drivers themselves were offered seedlings in addition to the bumper stickers to take home. I know this because the seedlings (I think they were Douglas Fir) were delivered by the pallet load to our house and dad saw that each of his dealers got their share. We planted one in our side yard in Virginia but I think it probably fell victim to my agro lawn mowing techniques.

I just went on a nostalgia trip into Google maps, but there is no Google Street View of my old neighborhood. plant-a-tree-close-flat-smThe satellite shot looks like it was taken on the coldest and most bleak (but clear) day ever. It was late morning, the lawns are all brown and there are no leaves on the trees. It’s not even worth showing here, let alone diverting The Man from B.L.O.G. to the location. He was, however, able to drop by the shoot for this post. Here’s an outtake. He’s obviously smitten with the young model from 1973. They make a cute couple, eh?

[Speaking of the bespectacled one, my Man From B.L.O.G. avatar-cybernaut is nearly in position to do a live blog from a surprise location, tomorrow, Earth Day. I can't give out any details now, but I can tell you that we are having technical issues and some time zone confusion with him – he's always on Zurich time.]

Illustration credits: the attempted Ansel Adams-style treatment in the illustration is on one of my own photos, taken at the Mt. Whitney portal in the Sierra Nevada range, California. The bumper sticker is a scan of my own. The classic woman with her (not US market) Datsun is from http://www.motoweb.pl/tapety/pictures/, where you can find other great Datsun wallpapers. The Man from B.L.O.G. is from my first post.

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