LOS ANGELES – Here are some of my riding buddies: Josh, John, and Mike sporting the new I. Martin Cycling Kits! The Munsonator snapped this picture yesterday at the shop after the boys finished their ride. Looking good, boys! Of course I would rather Charlize Theron had dropped by (nothing personal, guys – I know you understand), but there you are. Read some background on these Capo Custom kits (which I designed) at my first post about them, From Italy With Love.
MONROVIA, CA – Well, we here at B.L.O.G. are taking a little break from the shameless promotion business. By we, I mean of course the royal we, and we’ve been quite busy of late. It was a swing and a miss at trying to get on board The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, at least for now. An insider tip had me smelling blood, and I tried to go in for the kill with the electronic equivalent of standing on the corner with a twirling arrow and a bikini girl. Perhaps I should have tried the real equivalent. Anyway, besides the Rated “O” for Obsequious posts right here on B.L.O.G., there were emails to contacts at the peacock, the show itself, the union (more on that possibly later), Twitter-stalking, and every trick up my sleeve – but all proved fruitless thus far. I tried, but we failed. Thanks to all four of YOU, my loyal audience. Moving on, at least for now.
While I was away on my Please Hire Me Conan tour, I did get some information from my buddy, Todd, regarding The Tercel Thief incident. It’s a bit of a good news/bad news tale. His car was found, but was essentially being held hostage by the towing company. For those of you in the dark about the original incident, you can read the color photo-illustrated, made-for-B.L.O.G. version here. In a nutshell, Todd’s ’86 Toyota Tercel was stolen from his nice LA neighborhood in the middle of the night.
You might recall that at the time, I was able to send my Man from B.L.O.G. avatar/cybernaut back through the space-time continuum (with the help of Raytheon and Google Maps Street View) to see what I could see. What I saw turned out to be a bit of a red herring.
It was not, as I/we thought at the time: someone looking to replace, say, their driver’s side door with a working version. No, it looks like something more sinister. As a matter of fact, let’s go there now, to the scene of the discovery, to 3333 Peck Rd., Monrovia, California.
And… ZOOP! Okay. There’s Todd’s car – and good! It hasn’t been towed yet. The place is kind of drab, don’t you think? The whole area looks vaguely familiar. It really makes me think of some, some, so… I’m sensing a slightbendinthefabricoftime… Someone or someTHING is trying to tell me something. Wait!
Holy Sh*t! I knew I’d seen this place before. Better get the hell out of here – NOW!
Man! That was close! Okay, I’m back on Peck Rd., Monrovia, but Todd’s car is GONE. Who is that walking over? Is it a Beastie Boy?
No, it’s a local P.D. detective! What’s that, detective? Your friend’s car was towed. Yes, I know, but to where? 812 N. Azusa Ave. The towing yard, I see. Okay, well I guess I– he’s already walking away. Hmm. Let’s see. Stolen from Hancock Park, driven to Monrovia, parked in front of an auto dismantling operation. There’s got to be a clue in there somewhere. Now I’m learning, through my microwave relay to the present, that the towing company is wanting an exorbitant amount of money to get the car back. That just seems wr– HOLD IT! There’s an odd little man lurking and pointing at me!
He’s walking over. Funny little guy. He says his name is Gary, and he has “digs”. No, he corrects himself, he meant to say “dibs”.
On what? On the car. How can you have dibs on the car? The driver’s m’buddy! I run this junk yard. Do you like ham? Yes, but let’s get back to the car. They’re here all the time. What do you mean? What are ‘here all the time’? They just show up’s all. Police come by, write stuff down. I always get dibs!
What a strange little man. And an even stranger tale he unwittingly helps to weave. Let’s review:
Wow. If this wasn’t a crime synopsis I would swear it looks like an outline for a super business plan. Perhaps I’ll have more information next time. Stay tuned! And watch The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, premiering tonight, June 1 (rated “O”, I know, but I really will be watching).
UPDATE 6/3: This is a true (and outrageous) story. I have used a heaping portion of creative license to help outline it in an entertaining way. Credits: The Falafel’s Drive In sign is courtesy IvyMike on flickr. The background, undoctored image is in fact from Google Maps Street View. The cop was swiped directly from the great Climate Change Social Change blog, which I heartily endorse and encourage you to visit.
LOS ANGELES (UNIVERSAL CITY) – I read the terrific Conan O’Brien profile piece in The New York Times yesterday by Lynn Hirschberg, subtitled Can Conan O’Brien’s Brand of Humor Work on ‘The Tonight Show’? My answer, like the legions of other Conan fans, is an emphatic “Yes!” The piece is titled Heeeeere’s… Conan!!! Coincidentally, I saw a Google search hit in my statistic logs the other day for nearly that exact term, for my own Heeeeere’s Conan piece. Someone was looking for it – maybe a researcher for the NYT? No matter, it wasn’t such an original thought in the first place. 17 years or so ago people were probably writing Heeeeere’s Jay articles.
All of this gibberish is just an excuse to show another potential Conan graphic, in this case a bumper frame that could be easily animated. Actually, I have animated it, or at least a version of it (I first made this graphic for E! and their True Hollywood Story Halloween Marathon promo, still frame from the animation at left.) It’s on my 2008 reel and can be viewed at my Movies! I Show Movies! page. You can also view an extended Behind the Music version at my Portfolio page over on FrankXray.com (scroll down to the movies section). In the article, Conan mentioned making use of some of the Universal Studios landmarks as characters in his new show. The iconic horror house from Psycho is on the Universal lot, and is part of the tour. The Bates Motel itself would be just off screen to the lower right in the photo illustration above. I look forward to seeing how Conan O’Brien, Andy Richter, Executive Producer Jeff Ross, Head Writer Mike Sweeney (shameless Google search terms as well as true feelings here) and the rest of the staff play off not only Universal Studios, but of Los Angeles in general. The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien debuts June 1.
LOS ANGELES (UNIVERSAL CITY) – The Oakcrest Market is just down the hill from Universal, on Cahuenga Blvd. West, 
nestled against the hills. If you’re on the Universal lot, sometimes it’s good to get out and see the world. Jailbreak! It’s also one of the closest places to get beer 
. Proprietors Eugene and Kathy are ebullient and will delight you with all the latest neighborhood gossip. Kathy also prepares Korean BBQ at least once a week. Mmm. Check in with them, introduce yourself, and they’ll treat you like the local you are (or aren’t). The reserved parking, of course, is up to your negotiating skills.
Credits: At the very top of the post is a collage with my photo of Oakcrest Market, enhanced with a few other elements from various sources along with my Conan parking sign (except of course for the great official cartoon Conan used sometimes on Late Night and on some Late Night clothing). The plate of BBQ picture is from B-Side Blog . The bottom image is a detail from my illustration for an Oakcrest Market post card.
LOS ANGELES – In the summer of ’07, Bob Barker retired from his long-running job as host of The Price Is Right. The show took a few months hiatus as the producers searched for his replacement. Many people auditioned, but most were rejected for one reason or another. John O’Hurley, Mario Lopez, Mark Steines, George Hamilton, and Rosie O’Donnell were all front-runners at various points along the way. Even the local (to California) perennial happy guy and very gooberish Huell Howser was rumored to have been seriously considered. The gig, of course, was eventually won by comedian/actor Drew Carey (‘pictured’ above with some of my graphics).
It was along about this time of transition that I contacted some people at CBS regarding possible work. My website link (with my portfolio of work) was passed around, and I soon got a phone call from CBS Graphics. They thought I would be perfect for a special project they had in mind: refreshing The Price Is Right logo. New host, fresh look. Their only stipulation: don’t change it too much. I started by drawing the type in Illustrator. 
Once the type was just right, I gave it several treatments, including the ultimate winner shown at left (yes, that’s the original logo in the first paragraph). The Art Director/Set Decorator for the show, Bente, liked some of my presentation backgrounds and used them in her set. That’s me in the photo, standing next to a huge, pre-paint set piece at CBS.
Of course, I was delighted to see the “official unofficial” Tonight Show Tweet from @BigBley on Monday (and, heh heh, the real reason for this post):
A Late Night tradition that’s being carried over to the new Tonight Show: We still watch “The Price is Right” during the morning meeting!
10:30 AM May 18th from TwitterFox
Wow. Wait, let me think… I know! Maybe my connection with TPIR will work to my advantage in trying to get a job on Tonight. At least I know they’ve seen my work. I would describe how my work is varied (that I don’t just do game show logos). I have a lot of experience in not only graphic design and illustration, but also motion graphics and effects, too. Sounds simple enough.
I also saw on Monday that the show hired a new graphic designer, Eric McGilloway. Congratulations to Eric! That makes three designers including the incredible Kevin Frank & Pierre Bernard who came out from Late Night in New York. I know from working at NBC during my brief stint at Last Call with Carson Daly that Tonight with Jay has several, maybe even eight or so people. So hopefully Tonight with Conan will be looking for at least one more. That makes sense, right? I’m working on getting my stuff in front of a producer at the show. Stay tuned (this means all four of you readers, especially you, Uncle Paulie).
Credits: original Tonight Show meeting photo from www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com. I added the HD monitors with The Price Is Right screenshots. Drew with the microphone is a CBS press photo, photographer unknown. My friend at CBS, Vince, took the picture of me in the set department. The original for the doctored photo I did of Drew with the vintage ‘bowling team’ is from a collection at CBS Graphics. Click on it to see more doctored pictures.
BURBANK – Television sweeps time is upon us once again. It’s the semi-annual event in which television networks put forth their most sensationalized content in order to boost the Nielson numbers in their favor. It’s really a thumb on the scale, but no one really seams to care and it’s all part of the game. The results of the May Book, as it’s known in the TV promo world (there’s also a November Book, and to a lesser extent July and February Books as well), are used to establish advertising rates for the months to come.
End-of-season specials happen in May, as well as “very special” episodes including the infamous “evil twin” device employed in the not-too-distant past. Also, as we witnessed Friday night, personal diaries from celebrities on their death beds are not off limits. Farrah’s Story premiered as a two hour special on NBC Friday night. It documents the cancer journey of Farrah Fawcett, told in a combination of video diary first-person style with interviews of doctors and friends mixed in. Did you miss it? See it on hulu.
I thought I’d ask my Man from B.L.O.G. (avatar/cybernaut) to open up his Boring Load Of Garbage Television Showcase Cinema and Pie House for a little Farrah’s Story viewing party. Truthfully, the vintage movie house could use a little work. It’s a little rundown, and, if the City of LA sticker is correct, in need of some asbestos abatement. It really is Billy Bob’s Nightmare, but we didn’t mind. Our leftover H1N1 flu masks were put to good use as the whole crew gathered for a night of TV and pie.
Farrah Fawcett holds a very special place in my heart, so it was a little sad to see the show. Man from B.L.O.G. obviously feels the same way in the graphic above. She was Steve Austin‘s girl, for crying out loud. There is some controversy regarding Ryan O’Neal taking over the Executive Producer role as Farrah herself has been really too weak to perform those duties. The New York Times and the LA Times both had largely negative reviews for the “Dateline-meets-Behind-the-Music” style show.
When I was in junior high, I didn’t have this poster (at right), but I sat next to a guy in home room who did (it was fabulous and he wouldn’t let me forget it). This incident kick-started my hobby of scouring Spencer Gifts’ poster collections for the next Farrah poster. There were many copy cats (Adrienne Barbeau, Suzanne Somers, Lynda Carter) but never really any that reached the pure hormonal excitement levels of this one. It was during this time that I grew to despise black light posters because I had to flip through so many Led Zeppelin, Yes, Grateful Dead and others as I conducted my search for the girls.
The graphic at the beginning of this post is based on one created by me for Last Call with Carson Daly. It was for a bit called The Thirty Second Movie Review.
LOS ANGELES – Billy Bob Thornton was in the news recently for displaying some odd behavior during a Canadian radio chat show. After some adverse media attention, he went on Jimmy Kimmel Live to explain.
A few years ago, Billy Bob was famous for wearing a vial of blood around his neck, along with then-wife Angelina Jolie. The talented actor, writer, and musician’s peculiarities didn’t stop there. From Wikipedia:
Various idiosyncratic behaviors have been well-documented in interviews with the actor; among these is a phobia of antique furniture — a disorder shared by the Dwight Yoakam character in the Thornton-penned Sling Blade, and by Thornton’s own character in the 2001 film Bandits. Additionally, he has stated that he has a fear of certain types of flatware, a trait assumed by his character, Hank Grotowski, in 2001′s Monster’s Ball, in which Grotowski insists on a plastic spoon for his daily bowl of chocolate ice cream. In a 2004 interview with The Independent, Thornton explained: “It’s just that I won’t use real silver. You know, like the big, old, heavy-ass forks and knives, I can’t do that. It’s the same thing as the antique furniture. I just don’t like old stuff. I’m creeped out by it, and I have no explanation why…I don’t have a phobia about American antiques, it’s mostly French — you know, like the big, old, gold-carved chairs with the velvet cushions. The Louis XIV type. That’s what creeps me out. I can spot the imitation antiques a mile off. They have a different vibe. Not as much dust.” In addition to his aversion to silver cutlery, velvet, and “creepy, castle-y stuff,” Thornton confesses that “pieces from 1700 and 1800 France and England really freak me out, especially harpsichords.”
Credits: Billy Bob picture from reelmovienews.com. Chairs from s.artquid.com, dresser from ifixantiques.com, harpsichord from maserkit.com.
LOS ANGELES – People are absolutely giddy about bicycles these days. Slow Bike Movements, Fast Bike Factions, and everyone in between seem to have something to say as they board the celebration bandwagon of self-propelled two-wheelers. Some are so giddy as they rush to put their thoughts to paper or screen that they make the classic bike newbie mistake. They call us something other than cyclist or bike rider. And I’m not even talking about the pejorative name-calling expletives uttered by car drivers when they’re delayed two seconds while trying to overtake me. I thought I’d heard it all, but in the LA Times recently, I saw the word cycler used instead of cyclist in this article about The Amazing Race host Phil Keoghan’s ride across the U.S.A.:
Keoghan has been an avid cycler for years, averaging about 12 hours a week on a bike…
As a result of this and other similar misuses, I prepared the above chart in order to clear up things a bit. In the upper left we see poor George Hincapie, who rides his heart out every year for the spring classics. He is an example of a cyclist. Like “looking up the word cyclist in the dictionary and seeing his picture there” kind of cyclist. Cliché, yes, but true. Bike rider also works in this case. Also, Rivet Rider, Angry Pedaler, and Cycling Head of State to paraphrase Phil Liggett. Yes, cycling can be dirty, and not just in the way George appears in the photo.
The upper right is a photo depiction of typical bikers. It’s a still from the movie Hellriders. Some might call a cyclist a biker. This is not the highest ranking misuse of the word (I will get to that shortly), and I suppose it might fit a mountain biker or a slow biker more appropriately than, say, a road cyclist. Yet when I think of a biker, I think of a motorcyclist. Biker bars, biker chicks, etc. would be more appropriate to Jay Leno than our two-wheeled hero George Hincapie. So all in all, the jury is sort of split on this one.
Continuing clockwise around the chart, we next come to a Recycler. This lad, Jack Kirby, collected enough beer cans to make his own dreamcar. Before he was a recycler, he was first a…
…cycler! Yes, he had to cycle that beer through his or his friends’ systems in order to collect enough cans to make the Mustang sculpture. I thought about using a shot of beer cans on an assembly line here, but I wanted to post a picture of a hot chick drinking beer, so I could draw some more hits from the Google. I figure TV producers search for hot chicks drinking beer as much as the next person, right? Notice that the hot chick, Irina Voronina, is not riding a bicycle, across the country or otherwise. Cyclists are not cyclers. As a matter of fact, I even made up the definition for cycler. That’s right! I just worked backwards from recycler to form an imaginary root word. I have no idea what a cycler is, except the single most inappropriate word for cyclist. My panties are really in a twist on this one and I’m not sure exactly why. It just hurts my ears to hear it. All I can say for sure is that The LA Times needs a cyclist ombudsman, editor, whatever.
This is just version 1 of a work-in-progress. Let me hear what you have to say about the subject. I’ll include the good suggestions in version 2.
LOS ANGELES – I’ve updated my ABOUT page, which I am calling my “Who The Hell Do I Think I Am?” page. The title does have a certain charm, doesn’t it? The link is accessible via the Pages category on the sidebar. Or you can click here. It explains the reason I do this blog in greater detail than ever before. I’m talking thorn in your side, painful detail. It is a leading contender for the Boring Load Of Garbage page of the year.
I’ve also added a page called Gallery of B.L.O.G. Art. I think the name says it all. It is also permanently accessible via the Pages category on the sidebar. I will update it every couple of weeks or so, the most recent items at the top. You can see thumbnails of my graphics along with a brief synopsis of the post. If you want to read more, the links are there, too. Very handy.
And now that we’re all about sidebars in this conversation, you’ll notice a new, clickable banner with the slightly plaintive “HIRE ME today!” tagline. Click on it to see my other graphic works.
[MAY 13 UPDATE: I also added a Movies! I Show Movies! page to my Pages category. I will feature animations and other videos of interest here. It has my latest graphic show reel. The player is not setup entirely correctly, but it does play. Let me know if you have any significant problems.]
LOS ANGELES – I received a thoughtful email last week from a reader in Washington, DC. The reader pointed out to me how much my Man from B.L.O.G. 
character resembles Professor Berlitz, of Berlitz Language Instruction (1965) fame. Actually, sharp-eyed readers will notice that I obviously borrowed him from the Man from U.N.C.L.E. TV show logo of the 60s. I thought I’d come completely clean and show a lineup here of a few other potential look-a-likes.
On the far left we have the Woody Allen cartoon character that appeared briefly in Annie Hall. He is much shorter than Mr. B.L.O.G., but is only slightly more neurotic.
On the other side of my avatar/cybernaut is in fact Professor Berlitz, gesticulating wildly. “You are trés tall, Monsieur B.L.O.G.” 
He employs the same technique that most Americans use when communicating with foreigners: he slows his speech (and increases its volume), pronounces each consonant as hard as possible, and of course gesticulates. We find it works fine here on the island of America, so we’ll probably continue to use it. The Berlitz method. The character is no doubt based on Berlitz founder, Maximilian Delphinius Berlitz (1852 – 1921), who was born in Germany, orphaned at an early age, moved to France and ultimately the United States.
The Mr. Peanut (Planter’s) character‘s appearance is suggested here by a line at the Professor Berlitz reference page. They propose that the Berlitz man may have had a side career as Mr. Peanut. I don’t see the obvious likeness to Monsieur B.L.O.G., but since he resembles Prof. Berlitz, and Prof. Berlitz resembles Mr. Peanut, others might. You be the judge.
Lastly, I present Sherman from the Sherman and Peabody cartoons. They appeared in a regular segment called Peabody’s Improbable History in the early ’60s cartoon series The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. Sherman was the boy to Mr. Peabody (the genius dog). This is the origin of the WABAC (pronounced “wayback”) machine. The WABAC, or contemporarily Wayback Machine, is a common device used to conjure up nostalgia even today. So in addition to resembling a young Mr. B.L.O.G. (you should see the class photos side by side), Sherman’s (and Mr. Peabody’s) WABAC is the technological ancestor to the advanced Google/Raytheon time travel plugins which my man is so fond of using. I’ll have another lineup in the future should the need arise.
