NEW YORK CITY – Have you heard this one already? While David Letterman was taping his show last Tuesday, Jay Leno and Oprah Winfrey sneaked into his Ed Sullivan Theater and straight into a super-secret, private green room. If you saw Dave’s Late Show promo during the Super Bowl last night, you already know what they had in mind. If not, read Bill Carter’s recounting in The New York Times.
BURBANK – NBC’s anxiously-anticipated foray into late-night-as-prime-time began last night. The show was a good beginning, offering a little of everything: a fairly short monologue, big-time stars (Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah Winfrey), controversy (lucky get with Kanye West making what must have been a most humiliating public apology for his antics at the MTV VMA Awards from the night before), a very ambitious taped comedy bit from a relative unknown, Jay’s signature Monday night Headlines, and music (Kanye again, this time performing along with Jay-Z and Rihanna). Ex-Howard Stern Show staffer and Tonight Show announcer, John Melendez, is now earning his money from the writer’s room.
My friends at the show, Gary and Mac, have some interesting graphics and effects in store and will surely have a long, successful, and fun run. I’m envious, guys! Early numbers had the ratings at 17.7 million viewers. That’s the highest prime time rating since the American Idol finale in May. Expect some drop-off after the curious turn away, but the question for NBC is: can it hold on to enough of an audience to justify the huge gamble with the schedule? Will the other networks follow suit? You can bet they’ll be watching, waiting to see what happens next. So will I.
Credits: NBC photos by Justin Lubin, combined with the official show logo. I just put them together in the above composites. The bottom photo is from tonight’s show, which (as I write this) has yet to air here on the west coast. Are Tom and Cameron on the set of Vanilla Sky II? Guess I’ll have to tune in to find out.
NEW YORK and SAN FRANCISCO – The company formerly known as Radio Shack have, for now at least, changed their name to The Shack. Actually, it’s not an official name change but a marketing move by RS’s agency to make it “more friendly and approachable” (and will only be used in the short term), according the the agency Executive Creative Director. Now, I don’t regard The Shack as particularly un-friendly or stand-off-ish, but that doesn’t matter as I did somehow figure out a way to tie in the news with bicycle racing — and offer a sure-fire way to promote the team as well. But more on that shortly. I know… you’ve already seen the picture and I’m burying the lead. First, some very short background material.
Famed cancer survivor, bicycle racing legend and comeback hero, Lance Armstrong, announced during the final week of Le Tour de France that he would be moving to a new team starting next year. He Promo-Tweeted that the announcement would come within days. I took that opportunity to take my best shot at what that new team would be. My guess? The Nike/Apple/Amgen Professional Cycling Team, Presented by Lance Cracker Cookies (or is that cookie crackers?). No matter. I was dead wrong. Most people were guessing that Livestrong partner, Nike, would step up to the sponsorship plate and create a team around their marketing-and-manufacturing partner.
The new team, it was announced, would be Radio Shack. Radio Shack. The battery store. Or more precisely, the give your phone number in order to buy a battery store. Oookay. Who knew that Radio Shack was in such good shape as to be able to afford the estimated $15M to $25M budget of a professional cycling team sponsorship?
The tour ended, and Lance got an impressive third place finish. So how would Radio Shack keep the energy flowing? What would they do to keep their name in the limelight? The answer? A “hip”, new (if temporary) name change to The Shack, together with a viral interweb marketing event to be held in public plazas in New York and San Francisco. The Shack Summer “Netogether”. I really hope that our language doesn’t adopt “netogether” as a real word. Huge screens, setup to look like giant laptops, were placed in both cities and participants were encouraged to interact with each other, most of whom were otherwise complete strangers. Actually better than real life, come to think of it. Alas, I arrived at the party a bit too late, as evidenced by the blank twin screens on my screenshot of the event. The party was still going on in the form of flash-driven IMs to the world. Hello? Is there anybody out there?
I think The Shack, or Radio Shack (or whatever the company becomes after this promotion) should tap an NBA legend, a certain Shaquille O’Neal, to help broaden the appeal of bicycle racing in this country. Shaq could use the off-season busy work. The whole enterprise should only double the annual budget of the team. Shaq is a rider, having at least one custom frame by Cannondale for his 7′1″, 305-pound frame. Both Shaq and Lance know and love the Twitter (not a euphamism). As a matter of fact, in May Shaq challenged Lance to a bike race, via a short Twitter exchange (this is not made up… I swear):
@lancearmstrong this is shaq, I challenge u to a race anytime any place, its time someone challenged u, call perry rogers for details its on
10:06 AM May 25th from TweetGenius in reply to lancearmstrong
Armstrong Tweeted back, using a Talladega Nights reference (which even most white people wouldn’t understand), accepting Shaq’s challenge at least in the abstract. That was the end of May. Then there was training, The Tour, The (other) Shack commotion, and then came another shot across the bow from Shaq:
@lancearmstrong ok, yer done wit da tour. i wanna challenge u. last wk aug, 1st wk sept? dm me, good buddy
12:23 PM Aug 3rd from web
And this:
time 2 rally da twittereans. help me convince @lancearmstrong 2 take on my challenge. RT RT RT #ShaqVsLance
10:02 AM Aug 5th from web
That could be the next “Netogether” (hmm… I guess I will use it, but only in this post). Keep it going for Radio Shack. Get Shaq on his bike. Raise awareness for Livestrong. Win-win-win. A bicycle and slam-dunk multi-sport race, featuring Shaq and Lance. Like a triathlon, only not. RS could bring back those free battery punch cards, even do a whole temporary brand make-over, using retro graphics… shhh… during which time they could quietly take the new logo (if a 1995 logo can still be new) out back somewhere and SHOOT IT.
UNIVERSAL CITY – From Monday’s Tonight Show, a funny take on Palin’s farewell speech.
LOS ANGELES – It’s a tragedy when a youngish man dies in his prime. When an old man dies, people take it in stride. “He was old,” they say.
Karl Malden was old. He was 97 years of age when he succumbed to natural causes at his home in the Brentwood section of Los Angeles on July 1. And yet, just because he was old, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve some kind of public send-off. A memorial service, full of celebrity friends and family members.
I decided to send my avatar-cybernaut, The Man From B.L.O.G., to scout some possible locations. And, with the current economic situation such as it is, it’s important to secure some sort of corporate funding. After all, a goodbye soireé of the kind Mr. Malden deserves will not be cheap. I could go the route of the LA City Council and party first, then ask for donations. On second thought, maybe that’s not such a good idea. I have some sponsorship ideas. But first things first.
The Los Angeles Department of Transportation (LADOT) requires adequate parking and traffic flow in order to issue the required permit. We thought it best to run a scenario on Google Maps Street View with the GE ForwardThinker plugin. This handy little setup allows us to previsualize (much better than actual visualization) certain scenarios based on time of day, projected panhandling density, street cleaning schedules and other traffic flow, etc.
The Staples company would surely be game to host another memorial event at one of their facilities. With the fabulous Michael Jackson service at The Staples Center still fresh in my mind, I ran the numbers on a similar (though much smaller scale) event at their art deco store in the Hair District of Miracle Mile. Right here in the neighborhood. I know that a popular event held every evening here at this Staples is the Avoid The Staples Ingress/Egress Traffic game, played by Jewish grade school students as they ride home from the academy on their bikes.
Next, I had the crack scenic dept. over at CBS create a giant fedora, more or less of the kind Mr. Malden was known to sport. They used construction-grade vapor-lock material. It fit perfectly (at least virtually) on top of the flying saucer portion of Staples. I’m looking into a way to make it glow at night for the week it’s supposed to be up there. A row of huge bus stop posters of Mr. Malden from his Streets of San Francisco days, mounted side by side along the Wilshire Blvd. side of the store, finished off the look.
The American Express company agreed (again, virtually) to provide a San Francisco-style Hot Pretzel cart in the parking lot, located at the rear of the store. If you want a free pretzel, all you have to do is say “I left home without them” and those little magic words will work their charm. They will also give you a credit application for a gold card with a pre-denied stamp right on the form. Just write through the red stamp ink. Amex and Mr. Malden go way back, to a time in the mid 70’s when he began what would become a hugely successful series of TV ads for their travelers cheques. They started off, “Do you know who I am?”, and ended with “Don’t let a thief spoil your vacation. Get American Express Travelers Cheques. Don’t leave home without them.” Johnny Carson famously had a lot of fun at the expense (and to the delight) of Karl Malden, bulbous rubber nose and all. We’ll miss you, Karl.
Credits: The original Staples photo is from Google Maps Street View. The hat is from an eBay listing. The crane is of unknown origin (from my files). That’s Karl Malden as General Omar Bradley in Patton. The Karl Malden poster image is from a publicity shot from The Streets of San Francisco. The Epilogue in the title comes from the old Quinn Martin Production shows. On each bumper back into the show (from a commercial break), viewers would see the act number. Act I, Act IV, etc. Epilogue of course was the final act and these act designations were on most if not all QM Productions.
LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles’ gift to the world this week was: death. You’re welcome. It is said that celebrity or famous deaths come in groups of threes. This was a cruel week indeed for fans the world over. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and, as we were going to post, we learned that television pitchman and reality TV star Billy Mays has also left our world. He was just on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien last Tuesday, along with Anthony Sullivan. His confidence was contagious.
I didn’t know any of these people, nor did I ever meet them, but they all affected my life in different ways. The world is a much sadder place without them. I can’t say anything more or better than what’s already been written about each of them; I can offer just an anecdote or two. I first worked at NBC just after Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon left, so I never even saw either of them. I’d like to say I worked with them, but I didn’t. I did, however, work on a few Michael Jackson videos, perhaps most notably the Spike Lee-directed video of controversial song They Don’t Care About Us (I did some scene design and compositing for the prison version). In an unusual move, two different videos were produced for the same song. Both were directed by Spike and both were edited and finished at Charlex in NYC (Creative Director Alex Weil, Editors Chris Byrnes and John Zawisha, Producer Steve Chiariello, among others). One day while I was there, word spread that Michael was coming by to have a look at the progress. “He’ll be here at 7:00,” we were told. At 6:30, we learned he would not be coming. Some people (myself included) went home. MJ showed up with his entourage anyway at 7:30. That’s how it goes sometimes.
And if you’re one of my regular four or five readers, you already know about my feelings for Farrah. I wrote about Farrah’s Story last month, as part of my B.L.O.G. TV Showcase. There is some good that came from that show, at least for me personally. I noticed a familiar name on the credits, and reconnected with one of my oldest friends here in LA, Dave Klandrud (who was the lead editor on the show).
This concludes the name-dropping, Google hit-baiting portion of the program. I will return later this week with a slightly quirky look at my neighborhood. Thank you.
Credits: Ed McMahon is an NBC Photo by Joey Del Valle. I found the Farrah photo by berecruited on Photobucket. The young Michael Jackson is from bbc.co.uk. The Billy Mays picture is from the Tuesday, June 23 The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien on NBC (pictured: Billy Mays, Anthony Sullivan, Conan O’Brien; NBC Photo by Paul Drinkwater). The Michael Jackson video still is from my portfolio collection.
LOS ANGELES – Today I present a new feature here on B.L.O.G., called If They Merged. It is a tribute, homage, or some may say a direct ripoff of the Late Night with Conan O’Brien regular bit-hit, If They Mated (which, as far as I have seen, has yet to premiere on the new Tonight Show. Watch for a huge response from the audience when it does make its return). Here’s how the new bit would start off:
HOST: These are difficult economic times. Everyone is under a tremendous amount of financial stress. Not only individuals, but businesses too are feeling the pinch. We here at [POPULAR LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW] are here to help, to do our part. We’ve used the vast resources of our parent company to construct a machine that scours the business landscape for likely merger candidates. We’ve been calling it the MergerTron.
SIDEKICK: Sort of a Match Dot Com, only for businesses.
HOST: That’s right. EXACTLY like a Match Dot Com for business. It’s also very similar to our If They Mated technology. We find the most likely partners, those that could receive the most benefit from pooling their resources, and CRASH them together with the MergerTron. Just like the graphic, which cost a whopping $5. The graphic reminds us that we tried a test merger with Fiat and Chrysler, with mixed results. Thankfully, they were able to right that ship and sail on, hopefully to calmer waters. Things are going fine with them so far.
Let’s get started. Here are some potential candidates for the new and improved MergerTron.
HOST: Everyone knows the huge company, Halliburton. The large energy company, used to be headed by Dick Cheney; you know the company. Their slogan is Solutions For Today’s Energy Challenges. Well, they’re not really in any trouble, but we have another company in mind which we think would make a beneficial pairing. Sort of a win-win.
HOST: That’s right. Controversial insurance giant and recipient of government bailout money, AIG. Their slogan– and this is not made up (I swear): Moving Forward, Protecting Customers, Repaying Taxpayers. Really, it’s on their website. The new company? What did the MergerTron spit out?
HOST: Presenting the new company, HAIG. Today’s Solution For Challenging Movements. See? It really works. I’m not sure what the new slogan means, but there’s that picture from 1981 where Al Haig announces “I’m in control here” after the Reagan assassination attempt. It was the latest picture we could find. [singing:] Nothing is as funny as a 30-year-old reference.
Okay, for our next pairing, we…
Credits: The Alexander Haig photo from his “I’m in control here” press conference is from the Reagan Archives at The University of Texas. Conan picture is an NBC Photo by Paul Drinkwater.
Credits: The background image is from Taxi Driver. The original image in the TV is by BEHROUZ MEHRI/AFP/Getty Images. Kim Jong-Il original image is from ABC/Australia. The DeNiro-looking Ahmadinejad head is from http://samser.wordpress.com/. The television set is from http://pradigmshift.com/. Ahmadinejad’s Member’s Only jacket is from http://www.coutie.com/.
DETROIT – The New York Times reported Wednesday that the Fiat-Chrysler alliance has been completed, thus ending Chrysler’s 42-day trip through bankruptcy courts. We here at B.L.O.G. wish only the best both for the new company, plus the thousands of employees affected by the hundreds of dealers forced to close their doors as part of the deal. We just can’t help having a little fun at the new company’s expense.
The originals used in making this toy-like monstrosity are a base ‘57 Fiat 500 with ‘58 Chrysler 300 front and rear ends. If you’d like to see some more Chrysler-Fiat 
sillyness, please check out my late night talk show game (which masquerades as a creative introduction of Artie Lange if he were a guest on the faux show). The post and the game are called “The Which Is Which? Game”, 300 vs. 500. Here are a couple of teaser frames:
Credits: The ‘58 Chrysler 300 front end and tail fins are from an old Chrysler promotional photo and I got it at milkmandan.com. The base ‘57 Fiat 500 was lifted straight from netcarshow.com. They have some wonderful wallpapers and I encourage you to visit them. The FIASCO logo is based on the modern FIAT logo. Credits for the “Which is Which?” graphics can be found at that post.
LOS ANGELES (UNIVERSAL CITY) – I read the terrific Conan O’Brien profile piece in The New York Times yesterday by Lynn Hirschberg, subtitled Can Conan O’Brien’s Brand of Humor Work on ‘The Tonight Show’? My answer, like the legions of other Conan fans, is an emphatic “Yes!” The piece is titled Heeeeere’s… Conan!!! Coincidentally, I saw a Google search hit in my statistic logs the other day for nearly that exact term, for my own Heeeeere’s Conan piece. Someone was looking for it – maybe a researcher for the NYT? No matter, it wasn’t such an original thought in the first place. 17 years or so ago people were probably writing Heeeeere’s Jay articles.
All of this gibberish is just an excuse to show another potential Conan graphic, in this case a bumper frame that could be easily animated. Actually, I have animated it, or at least a version of it (I first made this graphic for E! and their True Hollywood Story Halloween Marathon promo, still frame from the animation at left.) It’s on my 2008 reel and can be viewed at my Movies! I Show Movies! page. You can also view an extended Behind the Music version at my Portfolio page over on FrankXray.com (scroll down to the movies section). In the article, Conan mentioned making use of some of the Universal Studios landmarks as characters in his new show. The iconic horror house from Psycho is on the Universal lot, and is part of the tour. The Bates Motel itself would be just off screen to the lower right in the photo illustration above. I look forward to seeing how Conan O’Brien, Andy Richter, Executive Producer Jeff Ross, Head Writer Mike Sweeney (shameless Google search terms as well as true feelings here) and the rest of the staff play off not only Universal Studios, but of Los Angeles in general. The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien debuts June 1.
