MONROVIA, CA – Well, we here at B.L.O.G. are taking a little break from the shameless promotion business. By we, I mean of course the royal we, and we’ve been quite busy of late. It was a swing and a miss at trying to get on board The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, at least for now. An insider tip had me smelling blood, and I tried to go in for the kill with the electronic equivalent of standing on the corner with a twirling arrow and a bikini girl. Perhaps I should have tried the real equivalent. Anyway, besides the Rated “O” for Obsequious posts right here on B.L.O.G., there were emails to contacts at the peacock, the show itself, the union (more on that possibly later), Twitter-stalking, and every trick up my sleeve – but all proved fruitless thus far. I tried, but we failed. Thanks to all four of YOU, my loyal audience. Moving on, at least for now.
While I was away on my Please Hire Me Conan tour, I did get some information from my buddy, Todd, regarding The Tercel Thief incident. It’s a bit of a good news/bad news tale. His car was found, but was essentially being held hostage by the towing company. For those of you in the dark about the original incident, you can read the color photo-illustrated, made-for-B.L.O.G. version here. In a nutshell, Todd’s ’86 Toyota Tercel was stolen from his nice LA neighborhood in the middle of the night.
You might recall that at the time, I was able to send my Man from B.L.O.G. avatar/cybernaut back through the space-time continuum (with the help of Raytheon and Google Maps Street View) to see what I could see. What I saw turned out to be a bit of a red herring.
It was not, as I/we thought at the time: someone looking to replace, say, their driver’s side door with a working version. No, it looks like something more sinister. As a matter of fact, let’s go there now, to the scene of the discovery, to 3333 Peck Rd., Monrovia, California.
And… ZOOP! Okay. There’s Todd’s car – and good! It hasn’t been towed yet. The place is kind of drab, don’t you think? The whole area looks vaguely familiar. It really makes me think of some, some, so… I’m sensing a slightbendinthefabricoftime… Someone or someTHING is trying to tell me something. Wait!
Holy Sh*t! I knew I’d seen this place before. Better get the hell out of here – NOW!
Man! That was close! Okay, I’m back on Peck Rd., Monrovia, but Todd’s car is GONE. Who is that walking over? Is it a Beastie Boy?
No, it’s a local P.D. detective! What’s that, detective? Your friend’s car was towed. Yes, I know, but to where? 812 N. Azusa Ave. The towing yard, I see. Okay, well I guess I– he’s already walking away. Hmm. Let’s see. Stolen from Hancock Park, driven to Monrovia, parked in front of an auto dismantling operation. There’s got to be a clue in there somewhere. Now I’m learning, through my microwave relay to the present, that the towing company is wanting an exorbitant amount of money to get the car back. That just seems wr– HOLD IT! There’s an odd little man lurking and pointing at me!
He’s walking over. Funny little guy. He says his name is Gary, and he has “digs”. No, he corrects himself, he meant to say “dibs”.
On what? On the car. How can you have dibs on the car? The driver’s m’buddy! I run this junk yard. Do you like ham? Yes, but let’s get back to the car. They’re here all the time. What do you mean? What are ‘here all the time’? They just show up’s all. Police come by, write stuff down. I always get dibs!
What a strange little man. And an even stranger tale he unwittingly helps to weave. Let’s review:
- Car is stolen.
- Car is driven 60 miles to an auto dismantling yard in the middle of the night and parked.
- A week later, someone calls in to report the abandoned vehicle.
- Police take a report, call in towing company under contract to the municipality.
- Police notify victim that their car has been located. Stage-chuckles politely at victim’s requisite “they got us working in shifts” Big Lebowski reference. Gives victim phone number to towing company anyway.
- Towing company initially plays role of understanding and caring uncle to the victim.
- Towing company quickly changes tone to bill collector and demands hundreds of dollars in towing and storage fees. Sends angry letter with invoice to victim.
- Victim notices the dibs to “Junkyard” Gary indicated right on the invoice.
- Mexican standoff ensues. Either way, victim loses. Gary and the towing company win. But does anyone else?
Wow. If this wasn’t a crime synopsis I would swear it looks like an outline for a super business plan. Perhaps I’ll have more information next time. Stay tuned! And watch The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, premiering tonight, June 1 (rated “O”, I know, but I really will be watching).
UPDATE 6/3: This is a true (and outrageous) story. I have used a heaping portion of creative license to help outline it in an entertaining way. Credits: The Falafel’s Drive In sign is courtesy IvyMike on flickr. The background, undoctored image is in fact from Google Maps Street View. The cop was swiped directly from the great Climate Change Social Change blog, which I heartily endorse and encourage you to visit.
All of this gibberish is just an excuse to show another potential Conan graphic, in this case a bumper frame that could be easily animated. Actually, I have animated it, or at least a version of it (I first made this graphic for E! and their True Hollywood Story Halloween Marathon promo, still frame from the animation at left.) It’s on my 2008 reel and can be viewed at my 
[MAY 21 UPDATES]: Using my mad internet skills, I found the 
