UNIVERSAL CITY – From Monday’s Tonight Show, a funny take on Palin’s farewell speech.
Posts Tagged ‘the tonight show with conan o’brien’
Shatner Does Palin
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
The Cruel Rule of Threes Fours
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles’ gift to the world this week was: death. You’re welcome. It is said that celebrity or famous deaths come in groups of threes. This was a cruel week indeed for fans the world over. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and, as we were going to post, we learned that television pitchman and reality TV star Billy Mays has also left our world. He was just on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien last Tuesday, along with Anthony Sullivan. His confidence was contagious.
I didn’t know any of these people, nor did I ever meet them, but they all affected my life in different ways. The world is a much sadder place without them. I can’t say anything more or better than what’s already been written about each of them; I can offer just an anecdote or two. I first worked at NBC just after Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon left, so I never even saw either of them. I’d like to say I worked with them, but I didn’t. I did, however, work on a few Michael Jackson videos, perhaps most notably the Spike Lee-directed video of controversial song They Don’t Care About Us (I did some scene design and compositing for the prison version). In an unusual move, two different videos were produced for the same song. Both were directed by Spike and both were edited and finished at Charlex in NYC (Creative Director Alex Weil, Editors Chris Byrnes and John Zawisha, Producer Steve Chiariello, among others). One day while I was there, word spread that Michael was coming by to have a look at the progress. “He’ll be here at 7:00,” we were told. At 6:30, we learned he would not be coming. Some people (myself included) went home. MJ showed up with his entourage anyway at 7:30. That’s how it goes sometimes.
And if you’re one of my regular four or five readers, you already know about my feelings for Farrah. I wrote about Farrah’s Story last month, as part of my B.L.O.G. TV Showcase. There is some good that came from that show, at least for me personally. I noticed a familiar name on the credits, and reconnected with one of my oldest friends here in LA, Dave Klandrud (who was the lead editor on the show).
This concludes the name-dropping, Google hit-baiting portion of the program. I will return later this week with a slightly quirky look at my neighborhood. Thank you.
Credits: Ed McMahon is an NBC Photo by Joey Del Valle. I found the Farrah photo by berecruited on Photobucket. The young Michael Jackson is from bbc.co.uk. The Billy Mays picture is from the Tuesday, June 23 The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien on NBC (pictured: Billy Mays, Anthony Sullivan, Conan O’Brien; NBC Photo by Paul Drinkwater). The Michael Jackson video still is from my portfolio collection.
If They Merged: Halliburton and AIG
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – Today I present a new feature here on B.L.O.G., called If They Merged. It is a tribute, homage, or some may say a direct ripoff of the Late Night with Conan O’Brien regular bit-hit, If They Mated (which, as far as I have seen, has yet to premiere on the new Tonight Show. Watch for a huge response from the audience when it does make its return). Here’s how the new bit would start off:
HOST: These are difficult economic times. Everyone is under a tremendous amount of financial stress. Not only individuals, but businesses too are feeling the pinch. We here at [POPULAR LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW] are here to help, to do our part. We’ve used the vast resources of our parent company to construct a machine that scours the business landscape for likely merger candidates. We’ve been calling it the MergerTron.
SIDEKICK: Sort of a Match Dot Com, only for businesses.
HOST: That’s right. EXACTLY like a Match Dot Com for business. It’s also very similar to our If They Mated technology. We find the most likely partners, those that could receive the most benefit from pooling their resources, and CRASH them together with the MergerTron. Just like the graphic, which cost a whopping $5. The graphic reminds us that we tried a test merger with Fiat and Chrysler, with mixed results. Thankfully, they were able to right that ship and sail on, hopefully to calmer waters. Things are going fine with them so far.
Let’s get started. Here are some potential candidates for the new and improved MergerTron.
HOST: Everyone knows the huge company, Halliburton. The large energy company, used to be headed by Dick Cheney; you know the company. Their slogan is Solutions For Today’s Energy Challenges. Well, they’re not really in any trouble, but we have another company in mind which we think would make a beneficial pairing. Sort of a win-win.
HOST: That’s right. Controversial insurance giant and recipient of government bailout money, AIG. Their slogan– and this is not made up (I swear): Moving Forward, Protecting Customers, Repaying Taxpayers. Really, it’s on their website. The new company? What did the MergerTron spit out?
HOST: Presenting the new company, HAIG. Today’s Solution For Challenging Movements. See? It really works. I’m not sure what the new slogan means, but there’s that picture from 1981 where Al Haig announces “I’m in control here” after the Reagan assassination attempt. It was the latest picture we could find. [singing:] Nothing is as funny as a 30-year-old reference.
Okay, for our next pairing, we…
Credits: The Alexander Haig photo from his “I’m in control here” press conference is from the Reagan Archives at The University of Texas. Conan picture is an NBC Photo by Paul Drinkwater.
The Monrovia Connection
Monday, June 1st, 2009
MONROVIA, CA – Well, we here at B.L.O.G. are taking a little break from the shameless promotion business. By we, I mean of course the royal we, and we’ve been quite busy of late. It was a swing and a miss at trying to get on board The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, at least for now. An insider tip had me smelling blood, and I tried to go in for the kill with the electronic equivalent of standing on the corner with a twirling arrow and a bikini girl. Perhaps I should have tried the real equivalent. Anyway, besides the Rated “O” for Obsequious posts right here on B.L.O.G., there were emails to contacts at the peacock, the show itself, the union (more on that possibly later), Twitter-stalking, and every trick up my sleeve – but all proved fruitless thus far. I tried, but we failed. Thanks to all four of YOU, my loyal audience. Moving on, at least for now.
While I was away on my Please Hire Me Conan tour, I did get some information from my buddy, Todd, regarding The Tercel Thief incident. It’s a bit of a good news/bad news tale. His car was found, but was essentially being held hostage by the towing company. For those of you in the dark about the original incident, you can read the color photo-illustrated, made-for-B.L.O.G. version here. In a nutshell, Todd’s ‘86 Toyota Tercel was stolen from his nice LA neighborhood in the middle of the night.
You might recall that at the time, I was able to send my Man from B.L.O.G. avatar/cybernaut back through the space-time continuum (with the help of Raytheon and Google Maps Street View) to see what I could see. What I saw turned out to be a bit of a red herring.
It was not, as I/we thought at the time: someone looking to replace, say, their driver’s side door with a working version. No, it looks like something more sinister. As a matter of fact, let’s go there now, to the scene of the discovery, to 3333 Peck Rd., Monrovia, California.
And… ZOOP! Okay. There’s Todd’s car – and good! It hasn’t been towed yet. The place is kind of drab, don’t you think? The whole area looks vaguely familiar. It really makes me think of some, some, so… I’m sensing a slightbendinthefabricoftime… Someone or someTHING is trying to tell me something. Wait!
Holy Sh*t! I knew I’d seen this place before. Better get the hell out of here – NOW!
Man! That was close! Okay, I’m back on Peck Rd., Monrovia, but Todd’s car is GONE. Who is that walking over? Is it a Beastie Boy?
No, it’s a local P.D. detective! What’s that, detective? Your friend’s car was towed. Yes, I know, but to where? 812 N. Azusa Ave. The towing yard, I see. Okay, well I guess I– he’s already walking away. Hmm. Let’s see. Stolen from Hancock Park, driven to Monrovia, parked in front of an auto dismantling operation. There’s got to be a clue in there somewhere. Now I’m learning, through my microwave relay to the present, that the towing company is wanting an exorbitant amount of money to get the car back. That just seems wr– HOLD IT! There’s an odd little man lurking and pointing at me!
He’s walking over. Funny little guy. He says his name is Gary, and he has “digs”. No, he corrects himself, he meant to say “dibs”.
On what? On the car. How can you have dibs on the car? The driver’s m’buddy! I run this junk yard. Do you like ham? Yes, but let’s get back to the car. They’re here all the time. What do you mean? What are ‘here all the time’? They just show up’s all. Police come by, write stuff down. I always get dibs!
What a strange little man. And an even stranger tale he unwittingly helps to weave. Let’s review:
- Car is stolen.
- Car is driven 60 miles to an auto dismantling yard in the middle of the night and parked.
- A week later, someone calls in to report the abandoned vehicle.
- Police take a report, call in towing company under contract to the municipality.
- Police notify victim that their car has been located. Stage-chuckles politely at victim’s requisite “they got us working in shifts” Big Lebowski reference. Gives victim phone number to towing company anyway.
- Towing company initially plays role of understanding and caring uncle to the victim.
- Towing company quickly changes tone to bill collector and demands hundreds of dollars in towing and storage fees. Sends angry letter with invoice to victim.
- Victim notices the dibs to “Junkyard” Gary indicated right on the invoice.
- Mexican standoff ensues. Either way, victim loses. Gary and the towing company win. But does anyone else?
Wow. If this wasn’t a crime synopsis I would swear it looks like an outline for a super business plan. Perhaps I’ll have more information next time. Stay tuned! And watch The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, premiering tonight, June 1 (rated “O”, I know, but I really will be watching).
UPDATE 6/3: This is a true (and outrageous) story. I have used a heaping portion of creative license to help outline it in an entertaining way. Credits: The Falafel’s Drive In sign is courtesy IvyMike on flickr. The background, undoctored image is in fact from Google Maps Street View. The cop was swiped directly from the great Climate Change Social Change blog, which I heartily endorse and encourage you to visit.
Welcome to Universal!
Monday, May 25th, 2009
LOS ANGELES (UNIVERSAL CITY) – I read the terrific Conan O’Brien profile piece in The New York Times yesterday by Lynn Hirschberg, subtitled Can Conan O’Brien’s Brand of Humor Work on ‘The Tonight Show’? My answer, like the legions of other Conan fans, is an emphatic “Yes!” The piece is titled Heeeeere’s… Conan!!! Coincidentally, I saw a Google search hit in my statistic logs the other day for nearly that exact term, for my own Heeeeere’s Conan piece. Someone was looking for it – maybe a researcher for the NYT? No matter, it wasn’t such an original thought in the first place. 17 years or so ago people were probably writing Heeeeere’s Jay articles.
All of this gibberish is just an excuse to show another potential Conan graphic, in this case a bumper frame that could be easily animated. Actually, I have animated it, or at least a version of it (I first made this graphic for E! and their True Hollywood Story Halloween Marathon promo, still frame from the animation at left.) It’s on my 2008 reel and can be viewed at my Movies! I Show Movies! page. You can also view an extended Behind the Music version at my Portfolio page over on FrankXray.com (scroll down to the movies section). In the article, Conan mentioned making use of some of the Universal Studios landmarks as characters in his new show. The iconic horror house from Psycho is on the Universal lot, and is part of the tour. The Bates Motel itself would be just off screen to the lower right in the photo illustration above. I look forward to seeing how Conan O’Brien, Andy Richter, Executive Producer Jeff Ross, Head Writer Mike Sweeney (shameless Google search terms as well as true feelings here) and the rest of the staff play off not only Universal Studios, but of Los Angeles in general. The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien debuts June 1.
Spotlight On: Oakcrest Market
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
LOS ANGELES (UNIVERSAL CITY) – The Oakcrest Market is just down the hill from Universal, on Cahuenga Blvd. West, 
nestled against the hills. If you’re on the Universal lot, sometimes it’s good to get out and see the world. Jailbreak! It’s also one of the closest places to get beer 
. Proprietors Eugene and Kathy are ebullient and will delight you with all the latest neighborhood gossip. Kathy also prepares Korean BBQ at least once a week. Mmm. Check in with them, introduce yourself, and they’ll treat you like the local you are (or aren’t). The reserved parking, of course, is up to your negotiating skills.
Credits: At the very top of the post is a collage with my photo of Oakcrest Market, enhanced with a few other elements from various sources along with my Conan parking sign (except of course for the great official cartoon Conan used sometimes on Late Night and on some Late Night clothing). The plate of BBQ picture is from B-Side Blog . The bottom image is a detail from my illustration for an Oakcrest Market post card.
The Price Is Right Logo Design Facelift
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – In the summer of ‘07, Bob Barker retired from his long-running job as host of The Price Is Right. The show took a few months hiatus as the producers searched for his replacement. Many people auditioned, but most were rejected for one reason or another. John O’Hurley, Mario Lopez, Mark Steines, George Hamilton, and Rosie O’Donnell were all front-runners at various points along the way. Even the local (to California) perennial happy guy and very gooberish Huell Howser was rumored to have been seriously considered. The gig, of course, was eventually won by comedian/actor Drew Carey (’pictured’ above with some of my graphics).
It was along about this time of transition that I contacted some people at CBS regarding possible work. My website link (with my portfolio of work) was passed around, and I soon got a phone call from CBS Graphics. They thought I would be perfect for a special project they had in mind: refreshing The Price Is Right logo. New host, fresh look. Their only stipulation: don’t change it too much. I started by drawing the type in Illustrator. 
Once the type was just right, I gave it several treatments, including the ultimate winner shown at left (yes, that’s the original logo in the first paragraph). The Art Director/Set Decorator for the show, Bente, liked some of my presentation backgrounds and used them in her set. That’s me in the photo, standing next to a huge, pre-paint set piece at CBS.
Of course, I was delighted to see the “official unofficial” Tonight Show Tweet from @BigBley on Monday (and, heh heh, the real reason for this post):
A Late Night tradition that’s being carried over to the new Tonight Show: We still watch “The Price is Right” during the morning meeting!
10:30 AM May 18th from TwitterFox
Wow. Wait, let me think… I know! Maybe my connection with TPIR will work to my advantage in trying to get a job on Tonight. At least I know they’ve seen my work. I would describe how my work is varied (that I don’t just do game show logos). I have a lot of experience in not only graphic design and illustration, but also motion graphics and effects, too. Sounds simple enough.
I also saw on Monday that the show hired a new graphic designer, Eric McGilloway. Congratulations to Eric! That makes three designers including the incredible Kevin Frank & Pierre Bernard who came out from Late Night in New York. I know from working at NBC during my brief stint at Last Call with Carson Daly that Tonight with Jay has several, maybe even eight or so people. So hopefully Tonight with Conan will be looking for at least one more. That makes sense, right? I’m working on getting my stuff in front of a producer at the show. Stay tuned (this means all four of you readers, especially you, Uncle Paulie).
Credits: original Tonight Show meeting photo from www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com. I added the HD monitors with The Price Is Right screenshots. Drew with the microphone is a CBS press photo, photographer unknown. My friend at CBS, Vince, took the picture of me in the set department. The original for the doctored photo I did of Drew with the vintage ‘bowling team’ is from a collection at CBS Graphics. Click on it to see more doctored pictures.
Heeeeere’s Conan!
Monday, May 4th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – Conan O’Brien and his once and future sidekick, Andy Richter, are almost ready to take over The Tonight Show (the premiere is June 1). Final preparations are being made to his brand new studio in Universal City (not on the NBC Burbank lot). NBC released the new Tonight Show logo last week.
[MAY 21 UPDATES]: Using my mad internet skills, I found the NBC Conan message board. I can’t quite tell who the players on the board are yet to vouch for them or not, but it’s a treasure trove of raw info and excitement about the new show. What I can tell you is that there are a few faker Twitterers who have been called out by the real Twitterer. I’ve been following his hilarious exploits of a brand new show coming into the world. It’s actually more like a metamorphosis. Chime in if you have any other info.
Jay Leno is winding down his final May sweeps, at least as host of Tonight. He will start his prime time show in the fall.
The Conan, Andy, and logo original images are NBC press materials. The Triumph the Insult Comic Dog original image is from his site. i put them together here using my own illustration elements. The new set photo via TV Guide.com (Chris Haston, ©NBC Universal, Inc.). Hat tip: Aaron Bleyaert on Twitter (@BigBley).
The Which is Which? Game
Monday, April 27th, 2009
LOS ANGELES – This post is a late night comedy show segment pitch, seen here for the first time exclusively on B.L.O.G. It is for a segment called The Which is Which? Game, and could serve as a guest introduction for a comedy figure especially, or a celebrity with a good sense of humor at least. The idea is to take a funny fact, even one that is slightly embarrassing (and perhaps has been in the public consciousness recently), create an outrageous juxtaposition with that fact as the grain of truth, then work backwards to find other related juxtapositions. Wow, it sounds complicated. No, that’s just my bamboozling writing style. Look at the pictures.
Background for this example: Artie Lange, of the Howard Stern show on Sirius/XM, has ballooned to 300 lbs. and has had a couple of weigh-ins as part of that show. He is based in New York and has been a frequent guest on both Letterman’s Late Show and Conan’s Late Night shows. He will be making appearances soon to promote the paperback version of his best selling book. The following is a sample bit of dialogue between a fictional HOST and CO-HOST to show how these graphics might play in a game/introduction. If you don’t want to read through the entire script, you should be able to follow along just from the pictures.
HOST: We have a new game tonight! A little something we like to call The Which is Which? Game. Roll it, [DIRECTOR].
GFX: ANIMATION PLAYS. ‘THE WHICH IS WHICH? GAME’ ANIMATES ON TO LIVE MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT. BASE ANIMATION HAS ELABORATE PRODUCTION VALUE, CHYRON WIPES ON TO REVEAL THE SPECIFIC: ‘300 vs. 500‘ (SIMPLY RENDERED).
HOST: 300 vs. 500 edition. [SLOWLY]: 300… 500, [CO-HOST]. Which is which.
CO-HOST: 300 vs. 500. Which is which. Got it.
HOST: Thank you, [MUSICIANS]. In this game, we are given a set of facts and are shown two objects. We then have to decide which facts belong to which objects. Which is which. Sounds simple, eh? Boy, this could go either way. Don’t you think, [CO-HOST]? Alright, let’s give it a shot. Show us the first slide, [DIRECTOR].
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
Ooo, it’s a shot of space. [TEXT TYPES ON TO MATCH HOST'S READ] Here are two distant galaxies. One is 300 million light years away, the other is 500 million light years away. See? 300 vs. 500. Which is which? Hmm. I have no idea. What do you think, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: I don’t have a clue either.
HOST: Let’s see the answer.
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
GFX: QUESTION TEXT WIPES OFF – LEFT GALAXY IS WIPED OFF AS RIGHT GALAXY SHRINKS DOWN IN SIZE (MOVES FARTHER AWAY FROM CAMERA – SFX: SLIDE WHISTLE). JUST AS RIGHT GALAXY SETTLES, WE SEE LEFT GALAXY RE-ENTER THE PICTURE, OBVIOUSLY CLOSER TO US THAN RIGHT GALAXY. ANSWER TEXT ANIMATES (TYPES) ON. THIS ALL HAPPENS QUICKLY.
HOST: Ah, Stephan’s Quintet is 300 million light years away. Of course, Baby Boom is 500 million light years away. Interesting, [CO-HOST]. I don’t know how funny it is, but it is interesting.
CO-HOST: I had no idea. They’re both really far away. I can’t even imagine it.
HOST: Okay, I get it now. I’m ready for the next slide, [DIRECTOR].
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
Ah, a couple of cars, [CO-HOST]. [AS BEFORE, TEXT TYPES ON TO MATCH THE READ] These are two car models from the proposed Fiat/Chrysler alliance. You know they’re in the news now, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: Seems I’ve heard something about it recently, yes. Very topical.
HOST: [CHUCKLES AT THE INANITY OF IT ALL]. One is designated the 300, the other is the 500. Which is which? Hmm. I know a little about cars. I’m gonna say the big one is the 500 and the little one is the 300. Doesn’t that make sense, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: That’s the obvious choice, [HOST]. But it could be a trick.
HOST: [LAUGHS] Yes, [CO-HOST], a trick! No, I’m sticking with my answer. [DIRECTOR], show the good people that I am in the right here!
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
GFX: CUTOUT CARS SPIN AROUND EACH OTHER (IN AN OBVIOUSLY FAKE AND CHEESY WAY – SFX: PARTY FAVOR RATCHETING NOISEMAKER) SEVERAL TIMES AND END UP EQUIDISTANT FROM THE CAMERA. ANSWER TEXT ANIMATES (TYPES) ON, (AS BEFORE) VERY QUICKLY.
HOST: Boy was I wrong! You were right, [CO-HOST]! We were tricked. The big Chrysler is actually the 300, and the diminutive Fiat is the 500! It’s apparently also called La Cinquecento. How are we supposed to know that? Is that a bonus, [CO-HOST]?
CO-HOST: [CHUCKLES] I don’t know. I just don’t know how we’re supposed to know that. Diminutive, yes. Doesn’t make any sense.
HOST: Alright. Time for the next slide. Remember, they appear to be getting trickier, so if you’re playing at home, keep that in mind!
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
[SURPRISED CHUCKLE]. Wow, isn’t that a cute scene. Very pleasant. And isn’t that Artie Lange?
CO-HOST: Yes, that appears to be Artie Lange reclining against a polar bear. They both seem to be very comfortable.
HOST: [LAUGHS] [TEXT TYPES ON TO MATCH THE READ] These are two slumbering giants. I don’t think I want to see what happens in the next frame. Things could get ugly. One weighs 300 lbs., the other over 500. Over 500, [CO-HOST]!
CO-HOST: Well, they’re slumbering giants. What would you expect?
HOST: Which is which? They’re both – they’re both… BIG!
CO-HOST: We have been fooled before! How do we figure this one out? And look: Artie is holding a copy of his book.
HOST: Yes he is! Let’s settle this once and for all.
[CUT TO SHOT OF HOST AT DESK]
HOST: Ladies and gentlemen: his book debuted in the number one position on the New York Times Best Seller list and will be out in paperback this Tuesday, June 2.
SEE GRAPHIC BELOW
Please welcome… Artie Lange!
GFX: GRAPHIC FROM OPEN AGAIN, THIS TIME AS TALENT REVEAL TRANSITION. TITLE TYPE MOVES UP, CURTAINS PART AND MOVE OUT TO REVEAL LIVE SHOT OF ARTIE LANGE WALKING OUT TO HIS THEME SONG. HE IS WALKING ALONGSIDE A MAN IN A POLAR BEAR COSTUME. THE BEAR SHOWS HIM TO HIS SEAT, THEN LEAVES.
HOST: ARTIE LANGE, everybody!
