Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

Lance’s New Team: The Shaq?

Sunday, August 9th, 2009

the-shaq

paragraph-spacer3NEW YORK and SAN FRANCISCO – The company formerly known as Radio Shack have, for now at least, changed their name to The Shack. Actually, it’s not an official name change but a marketing move by RS’s agency to make it “more friendly and approachable” (and will only be used in the short term), according the the agency Executive Creative Director. Now, I don’t regard The Shack as particularly un-friendly or stand-off-ish, but that doesn’t matter as I did somehow figure out a way to tie in the news with bicycle racing — and offer a sure-fire way to promote the team as well. But more on that shortly. I know… you’ve already seen the picture and I’m burying the lead. First, some very short background material.

lance-newteam-main-titleFamed cancer survivor, bicycle racing legend and comeback hero, Lance Armstrong, announced during the final week of Le Tour de France that he would be moving to a new team starting next year. He Promo-Tweeted that the announcement would come within days. I took that opportunity to take my best shot at what that new team would be. My guess? The Nike/Apple/Amgen Professional Cycling Team, Presented by Lance Cracker Cookies (or is that cookie crackers?). No matter. I was dead wrong. Most people were guessing that Livestrong partner, Nike, would step up to the sponsorship plate and create a team around their marketing-and-manufacturing partner.

radioshack-main-titleThe new team, it was announced, would be Radio Shack. Radio Shack. The battery store. Or more precisely, the give your phone number in order to buy a battery store. Oookay. Who knew that Radio Shack was in such good shape as to be able to afford the estimated $15M to $25M budget of a professional cycling team sponsorship?

netogetherThe tour ended, and Lance got an impressive third place finish. So how would Radio Shack keep the energy flowing? What would they do to keep their name in the limelight? The answer? A “hip”, new (if temporary) name change to The Shack, together with a viral interweb marketing event to be held in public plazas in New York and San Francisco. The Shack Summer “Netogether”. I really hope that our language doesn’t adopt “netogether” as a real word. Huge screens, setup to look like giant laptops, were placed in both cities and participants were encouraged to interact with each other, most of whom were otherwise complete strangers. Actually better than real life, come to think of it. Alas, I arrived at the party a bit too late, as evidenced by the blank twin screens on my screenshot of the event. The party was still going on in the form of flash-driven IMs to the world. Hello? Is there anybody out there?

I think The Shack, or Radio Shack (or whatever the company becomes after this promotion) should tap an NBA legend, a certain Shaquille O’Neal, to help broaden the appeal of bicycle racing in this country. Shaq could use the off-season busy work. The whole enterprise should only double the annual budget of the team. Shaq is a rider, having at least one custom frame by Cannondale for his 7’1″, 305-pound frame. Both Shaq and Lance know and love the Twitter (not a euphamism). As a matter of fact, in May Shaq challenged Lance to a bike race, via a short Twitter exchange (this is not made up… I swear):

@lancearmstrong this is shaq, I challenge u to a race anytime any place, its time someone challenged u, call perry rogers for details its on
10:06 AM May 25th from TweetGenius in reply to lancearmstrong

Armstrong Tweeted back, using a Talladega Nights reference (which even most white people wouldn’t understand), accepting Shaq’s challenge at least in the abstract. That was the end of May. Then there was training, The Tour, The (other) Shack commotion, and then came another shot across the bow from Shaq:

@lancearmstrong ok, yer done wit da tour. i wanna challenge u. last wk aug, 1st wk sept? dm me, good buddy
12:23 PM Aug 3rd from web

And this:

time 2 rally da twittereans. help me convince @lancearmstrong 2 take on my challenge. RT RT RT #ShaqVsLance
10:02 AM Aug 5th from web

That could be the next “Netogether” (hmm… I guess I will use it, but only in this post). Keep it going for Radio Shack. Get Shaq on his bike. Raise awareness for Livestrong. Win-win-win. A bicycle and slam-dunk multi-sport race, featuring Shaq and Lance. Like a triathlon, only not. RS could bring back those free battery punch cards, even do a whole temporary brand make-over, using retro graphics… shhh… during which time they could quietly take the new logo (if a 1995 logo can still be new) out back somewhere and SHOOT IT.

shaq-battery-and-card

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“The Twitter stole our logo.”

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

the-twitter-stole-our-logo

paragraph-spacer3JACKSON HOLE, WY – A 133-year-old dry goods company here, Little O, Stick on Ground, Big O, are claiming through their lawyers that internet phenomenon, Twitter, has “absconded with our trademark. The Twitter stole our logo.” Lawyers and their clients were present today at a press conference held here to announce a “look into the possibility of a likelihood for a chance of maybe bringing some sort of legal action”.

twittertwitter-fieldThe possible action points not to the stick figure bird silhouette on a branch or the blue tweety bird button icon, but to the default user avatar icon (at right) which Twitter provides for either newbies, those too lazy to upload their own photo, or folks who are just plain camera shy (click on the graphic at left to see just what I mean).

Archibald Fruehauf, whose great uncle and great-great uncle (Little Oscar and Big Oscar Fruehauf, respectively) founded the dry goods company, says their logo has been in use almost since the very beginning. “They had some trouble with the original bell logo (which had double clappers shaped like Os) and name (Double-O Bell System); Alexander Graham Bell had issues with both. My great-great aunt, Takala, came up with the new name and a simplified, literal logo which was based on a game the two Oscars played, similar to ‘kick the can’, but with a stick. Little O, Stick on Ground, Big O. Or if you prefer, o_O. Both Oscars were quite rotund, you see, hence the letters ‘O’.”

Although no one can yet pinpoint a single source of funding for the almost-accused internet phenom known as Twitter, there appears to be no shortage of it. “We are well-funded and building a company to last” (from the jobs page on their site). Also:

“We provide the best equipment money can buy and offer free breakfast, snacks, and often lunch. Good burritos, great coffee, and Whole Foods are just blocks away. Sometimes we’ll walk to the park around the corner when we need to talk about something juicy or just get some fresh air (or a better burrito).”

Or when we have to kill you and dump your body. Seriously, though, the accoutrements rival the heady late ’90s, early ’00s of what would come to be known as the face of the internet bubble. Missing are the air hockey and foosball tables, afternoon massages, and the occasional lunch. Actually, their spiel has even this cynic almost sold. Not a bad gig. One could do a lot worse. I could see myself working at the Twitterplex. The point is, they’re “well-funded” and hope “to last”. Not for long, if these lawyers have anything to say about it.

the-twitter-extras

The “possibility-of-a-likelihood-for-a-chance-of-maybe” bringing legal action is looking more and more like a class-action… “event”. Joining Little O, Stick on Ground, Big O at the presser (but even more on the fence, legally, if that’s possible) were recumbent bicycle storage company Hangin’ With The ‘Bents, lesbian porno film Little Whore and Big Whore Go At It! 4 (the director’s cut, not the b.s. version put out by the studio), and semi-annual eyeglass sale The Crazy Optometrist’s Upside Down Price Event. After the announcement, there was a group lunch buffet at the Grand Tetons strip club which I won’t soon forget.

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